What to do when

A funny thing happened to me the other day well not really, nothing funny has happened to me in a while I'm in a blackhole of non funny, sure I've read some funny ass blogs that have made me crap my pants from laughing so damn hard but thats just not the same as experiencing something funny first hand.

This got me thinking, wow thinking I know crazy hey and it only hurt a little bit, anyways it got me thinking about ways to make a situation that usually has no funny what so ever into something that has humor and lulz, cause lulz is what its all about I've been told a hundred times. So heres some ideas.

What to do for fun when:

Your at a funeral (had to have a funeral joke) Punch the dead guy in the balls and yell "everyone get down theres a bomb in the coffin" then yell out "BOOOOMMMM", everyone will think your awesome and will want to thank you for making there day!


Your at the doctors, boring right? Well not if you do this! Grab a scalpel and do some minor (make sure its minor! I can't stress this enough) surgery on old people with bad eye sight it might not be funny for them but you'll have a hoot digging around in an old mans guts looking for that darn appendix.

Your driving to work, this ones easy! Just run a school bus of the road and watch it roll over and over and over flinging kids bodies all over the place then use them as obstacles to swerve around ...simple, affective and funny as fuck!

Your at church, well this one will send you straight to hell but thats cool because heaven is filled with fat chicks anyway! Ever heard of stigmata? Well fake it then when everyone starts singing your praises and yelling out "the time is nigh repent your sins", pull out a machine gun and start letting rip and don't worry there all going to heaven so you don't have to feel guilty just enjoy the moment!

Well thats all for now I'll leave the rest up to you!

Read more...

When Clowns Go Off the dEEP eND

25 Ways to Cope with Stress

1. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time.

2. Use your Mastercard to pay for your Visa, and vice-versa.

3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.

4. Make a list of things to do that you have already done.

5. When someone says "Have a nice day" tell them you have other plans.

6. Dance naked in front of your pets.

7. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him/her to pre-school as if nothing is wrong.

8. Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals.

9. Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.

10. Leaf through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives.

11. Tattoo "out for lunch" on your forehead.

12. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.

13. Buy a subscription to "Sleazoid Weekly" and send it to your boss's husband/wife.

14. Pay your electric bill in 5 cent pieces.

15. Drive to work in reverse.

16. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.

17. Tell your boss to "blow it out of your mule", and let him figure it out.

18. Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.

19. Polish your car with earwax.

20. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.

21. Start a nasty rumour and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.

22. Braid the hairs in each nostril.

23. Write a short story with alphabet soup.

24. Stare at people through gaps of a fork and pretend they are in jail.

25. Make up a language and ask people for directions in it.



And be sure to visit the Angry Clown and Krapsody daily!

Read more...

Humor Bloggers.com

I've joined a kick ass community for online humorists like myself and I've decided to promote the god damn hell out off it because its just that good!

Humor Bloggers is probably the best group I've joined, they have a forum for all my needs, sexually (I wish) and everything anyone could ever ask for including contests and promotional tools and help with any issue you can think off

If you want the best then I suggest you join but be quick the numbers will be limited and only the best will be accepted but if you miss out don't despair there is a humor groupie membership level for all you freaky lovers of funnies that need to be in the mix without actually doing any work ya lazy bums. Anyways join and you wont be disappointed! Hows that for a promotion, damn I'm good.

Read more...

Ein Goldie Ein Friend

Theres more to Hitler then people know, this is the story of his goldfish Ein Goldie.

The world was gripped by war and Hitler seemed unstoppable if it was not for the courages acts of a goldfish named Ein Goldie the war may not of ended like it did. Hitler was given Ein Goldie as a present from his mama and poppa a year before the war began some people say that it was the goldfish that started it all.

One day while walking down the street he was picked on and called names like fish f**ker and fin feeler for having a small glass bowl containing his precious fish. Hitler carried Goldie everywhere until the taunts and name calling overwhelmed him and he could no longer bring his friend on his various trips.

Hitlers appearance changed soon after to resemble Goldie's with his small black beard like feature under its nose and a strange looking hair coloring on its little scaly head, Hitlers obsession with his pet had reached a new level.

Ein Goldie was said to be the only creature able to communicate with the freaky Fuhrer about personal issues and the two grew inseparable due to Hitlers invention of the pocket goldfish carrier and goldfish transport mobile, the Volkswagen.

The romance was not to last, on the 30 April 1945 Ein Goldie was found by Hitler floating upside down in his fishbowl the early signs were that Goldie had died due to the build up of ammonia in his tank caused by poop but some say Goldie had made the ultimate sacrifice and is a hero.

Hitler was distraught and inconsolable chopping of his ear in a fit of sadness, he could no longer go on without his fishy friend, the war ended that day when Hitler put a bullet in his head, his last words were Ein Goldie Ein friend.

The one and only known photo of Ein Goldie

This post was brought to you by,
FISHY FISTING FISH FOOD.
Now with extra fist!
Are you fisting your fish?

Read more...

LULZ MOAR conspiracy!

The English language isn't dead its just been raped and spat on by the internet community and mobile phone owners that are to lazy to type the extra letter to spell it correctly or press the call button to use their mouths to speak (which is the rest of the world). This has to stop! before long we will be abbreviating everything and the common looser like me will be left out of the conversation all together.

My anger towards this came to a head when I had to understand what the hell people where talking about on the webs and its getting worse with the introduction of what I believe to be a smart donkey or other horse like animal that is now making up words to confuse and belittle us without us knowing.

What is wrong with the old language? Some might say it doesn't represent the new age thinking of a computer lover or represent the awesomeness of the internet or even explain people laughing eg- LOL LMAO LMGDAO PMSL ROL LULZ and more...

None of this is correct! The real reason behind it is that we are lazy and typing all those extra letters could cause our finger tips to explode and shrivel up in pain therefore causing a massive meltdown of the web and the stoppage of important information getting threw on blogs and real sites, like what Billy had for lunch or something about some stupid pirate sexing up sea creatures and we can't have that!

In conclusion... STOP BEING FUCKING LAZY AND USE GOODA ENGLISH YAR MEAN?

Couldn't find a picture of a donkey typing

P.S. oK did you gets lulz you want some moar you epic failure try being a winnar next time.

Read more...

Telemarketers iz teh Suck!

It's true! Do they suck? Yes, they suck poo spots and pubes off of toilet bowl rims.

I just got a phone call from Capital One the other day, that sounded like this (insert unconfident female voice here):

"Hello, this is Jenna from Capital One, looking for someone with the first initial J, last name Goldstein."

Now, right away, if I was named J. Goldstein, I'd know that this was not a personal call, and would probably hang up, but since my name is NOT J. Goldstein, and has not been for over 107 years, I informed her that she was looking at the wrong address. Her reply:

"Oh, I'm sorry. If you would like to learn more about Capital One, please go to our website at capital1.com."

At that very second, she should have been very thankful that I was usually a nice person to telemarketers and not particularly bored or mentally unstable that evening, because if I was a mean and a bored person, I imagine the conversation would have continued somewhat like this:

"Capital One dot com, you said?"
"Yes, sir, Capital One."
"So, that would be an exclamation mark?"
"Excuse me?"
"An exclamation mark. If I am trying to make a capital letter on my keyboard, I use the Shift key, but if I tried to make a capital 1, it would come out as an exclamation mark."
"Um... no, sir, the website has the actual word 'capital'."
"Ohhh... so it's the word 'capital', and then an exclamation mark?"
"No exclamation mark, just 'capital' and then 'one'."
"Is that the number 1 or the word 'one'. It's a little hard to tell over the phone."
"It doesn't matter, sir, they both take you to the same place."
"So should I put a capital on the letter O in 'one'? Or would that be 'capital capital one'?"
"Uh..."
"Or I could put a capital in front of both the 'capital' and the 'one', and then it would be 'capital capital capital one'."
"Sir, there is only ONE "CAPITAL" in Capital One!"
"One-Capital-dot-com, got it."
"NO! The Capital comes first!"
"And then an exclamation mark after it?"
"NO EXCLAMATION MARKS ARE NECESSARY!!!"
"Really? Because if this conversation were being written down, I'm sure the last few things you said would have had exclamation marks."
...dial tone...


Click the button for the most mentally unstable Angry Clown way to deal with a telemarketer.

Read more...

Attention All Men: A little Lesson On Sex From Us Chicks

I think that it’s ironic that men who have been drooling at centerfold shots of bubble-gum pink, wide open snatches taken from six inches away can't ever seem to find your clit. Little hint….the clitoris is the gateway to ecstasy for women. Your goal should be to do it better than she could ever do it herself.

While we are on the subject of va jay jays …all you men who employ the "flat palm of hand crotch grind" in the faint hope of contacting aforementioned body part…. Ok keeping it up until we either start screaming or stop screaming should not be a goal guys.
The Vulcan death grip on the back of your head, mid-kiss...gee..no mistaking that subtle body language. Unless you’re willing to cap my pearly whites that you just chipped slamming your mouth into mine, loosen up your grip dude.

Additionally, Guys who complain about going "down there" because, well..jeez..you know...the smell. First of all, those pussys that you’ve smelled in the past probably belonged to some skanky slut who couldn’t be bothered to clean her coochie before you got her sloppy seconds. Not that my pussy ever smells but let me kindly invite you to visit the business end of a set of balls, they don’t exactly taste like cotton candy after being all bunched up and sweated on in a pair of jeans…. 'Nuff said.

Ok you men who think you are going for some kind of Olympic marathon-fuck gold medal. A Dickathalon you might say. Look.. you aren’t Michael Phelps going for and Olympic Record here…Note..It's skin, OK? It's time to stop when your dick starts to feel like it's being wire-brushed. Cum already would ya, We've got to put out the brush fire in our pubes anyway.
And one last note… No it's not good for our skin, unless of course we ask for a facial….hope you took notes guys, there will be a quiz later .

Read more...

A indepth look at failure

Go get em tiger!

I'm scared of jealousy and at the moment I'm jealous of all the other great blogs out there but I'm even more scared of failure, failure of blogging I know it doesn't seem important but I have a saying that if you can't be the best why bother? This belief has seen me have a lot of great non-failures in the area of non-success due to non-trying or something like that.

Failure is also very funny and we all can't be the best at what we do (except me).

Some dictionary on the nets describes failure as...

Failure Fail"ure\, n. [From Fail.]1. Cessation of supply, or total defect; a failing; deficiency; as, failure of rain; failure of crops. 2. Omission; nonperformance; as, the failure to keep a promise. 3. Want of success; the state of having failed. 4. Decay, or defect from decay; deterioration; as, the failure of memory or of sight. 5. A becoming insolvent; bankruptcy; suspension of payment; as, failure in business. 6. A failing; a slight fault. [Obs.] --Johnson. Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

Hmmm interesting somehow I don't think that explains these guys!

Thanks to the sites that I stole these pics from (I'm lazy whatever)

Read more...

Dumb de dumb dumb

and thats what its all about said the zebra haha interesting stuff. Stupid people why are there so many in the world and how can you find out if you are a "stupid person" well here is a small test to help you figure it out and then depending on the result make plans for your suicide or not.

• If you think lighting a fart is the funniest thing ever and should be made into a TV show.

• When you see a mother breast feeding in public you have a perv and tell all your mates you saw the sweetest set of bubblies ever and she totally wanted you.
  

• If you have a bumper sticker on your bumper that says 'honk if your horny'.

• If your uncle is also your brother end it now 10 4 big buddy.

• You think monster truck racing is cool and a real sport.

• If you drive a hybrid car, figure it out people how do you think we make electricity? We burn coal you save the earth wanna be hippy freak buy a horse.

• If you read this blog...
  

If you answer yes to any of these questions you are an idiot!
This test can also be used to find out if your a red neck as well, the two are the same most of the time yeeeeehaaaaaa grandma.

I took the test did you?

P.S. I answered yes to all of those questions bring out the executioner.

Read more...

I've been sitting here on my bed and looking at my computer screen for a while now trying to come up with the best post ever in human history

I've been sitting here on my bed and looking at my computer screen for a while now trying to come up with the best post ever in human history... but this wouldn't be it.

- Damo (on writing 'the best post ever in human history' that should have been named 'the shortest post ever in human history'; saved as a draft on Blogger.com)

p.s. Static is a genius! because he figured out a way to make it look like Damo posted this...

Read more...

Fuel for thought

I'm angry! The cost of fuel is getting beyond a joke and making it hard for the average blogger like me and you to get around without spending your life savings on a drop of stinky liquid gold. I blame the dinosaurs if more of them had of died and become fossilized then we wouldn't have a problem.

Anyways as always I'm here to help and save your wallets from the fuel companies with a couple of tips on how to save fuel and get around without spending a dime on gasoline so you have more money for alcohol and drugs you know the important things!

Paper airplane, shrink yourself and your family down to the size of an ant and away you go although remember someone full size has to throw it and rain may cause a problem.

Instructions for paper airplane.

Wheelchair, this may seem simple but its not all that easy paralyzing yourself I recommend jumping in front of a car or falling off a horse if its good enough for superman its good enough for you and a bonus is you will never have to wipe your own ass again! There is a down side but I just cant think of it!

Move to an under water city, theres no need for a car if you live under the sea and you get to ride dolphins everywhere and how hot are mermaids? There very thats how hot!!

A cat sled, yes cats aren't just pets they can also be used to make a kick ass slay just get a dog to ride with you and watch those kitty's run if its good enough for Santa its good enough for you and the kids love them!

Walk, thats right I know its hard people but it can be done I've heard of some people walking one maybe two meters before giving up, I wouldn't do this but maybe its right for you!

Plus theres push bikes and public transport but thats boring so forget that. I hope these were helpful and I'll see you on the flip side jive turkey you dig ?

Read more...

The Angry Clown Nerd Olympics

Are you a winner? This guy is!!

Ar Bikini bottom (always wanted to start with that).
The world of sport is a terrifying and angry place for the common nerd and even hearing the word "sport" is known to cause some pimple faced geeks to crap their pants so I thought why not make the Nerd Olympics a place where all nerds and geeks alike get the chance to play for gold and have a chance at winning the soon to be world famous Geek Net Trophy.

The events you can sign up for are as follows:

Flamming - Flamming Nerd Award. The best flame award for the best flame (duh) on a blog can be chosen by the competitor and a comment with the link to the flame must be left in the comment section of this post OR flame this post!!

Spamming - The Can of Nerd Spam Award. The best spam award rules are same as above.

Nerd Talk - Nerdificus Award. The most nerdiest and outrageous comment about crap left on this post will win simple...or is it? Probably.

I cant think of any more at the present time if you have any ideas leave a comment and if you feel like playing with the chance to win something I don't know what yet but it will be good maybe or not whatever its all fun leave a comment.

GAME ON SLAPPERS

Read more...

Consider the following scenario: A woman gave a male motorist the “small penis” hand gesture – (popularised by a driver safety advertising campaign) which provoked him to lash out in an act of road rage. Seems that Simon Jardak was convicted and fined $400 for maliciously damaging property after throwing a bottle out his window in anger because the hand gesture offended him. Hummmm this gets me thinking about something that has never made sense to me.

OK I have never gotten this at all, Why are men soooooo offended by the whole small dick insult. Why is the small dick comment the Holy Grail of insults for men? I mean lets face it the average penis spends less then 0.0001 of a mans life actually doing anything useful for anyone. The rest of the time, the function of a penis is to get grabbed by toddlers, caught in zippers, crushed in ill-planned leg-crossing maneuvers, pummelled in various sporting events, and sniffed by the neighbor’s dog.

I mean is it like a total crack at their masculinity or what? Do you guys really stand around the showers in High School and compare size? And why would it really matter. No woman with any common sense equates size with masculinity; that's largely a guy thing. To most women, manliness is a reflection of character, not anatomy. So scrap your devils of doubt and focus on what counts: your ability to give your partner pleasure. Here, the size of your imagination is king. So get over it!
Kat out!

Enjoy this read some more stupid shit at Kat's Litter Box

Read more...

Generation Slap

On my way back from viewing Arab sex hidden cam a blog I found while searching for the cheapest fossilized dinosaur pooh for my dino turd collection, still missing a T-Rex's, anyways I found a picture of an old 80s cartoon that I had a long time ago forgotten about on some site that I had just recently forgotten about and still can't remember anything about.

This aroused my senses as I was taken back to a simpler time when shoulder pads were all the rage and the more hair the better was the catch phrase and Cher was still youngish and hottish if that is possible

It was a better time in my life before all this adult responsibility kicked in and I was able to crap in my pants in public without getting strange looks from people. So I thought Lets do a post about some of my favorite kids shows from the raging 80s that surely had a massive affect in warping and molding my mind and making me into the man or lack there of I am today.

The cartoons were better back then, no pokurmom or digiball Z crap, the cartoons were made to try and get poor defensive kids to wear helmets and seatbelts and sit in front of the TV for hours and hours not to sell crappy computer games and toys that make rich ass companies richer!

S/HEMANSword or something more sinister?

Shall we start with He-man I always loved this show but can't remember anything much about it except for the raging homosexual overtones, this show is more then likely responsible for the massive gay 20 somethings population of the world today and I'm not entirely sure that he wasn't having sex with his green tiger side kick Battle Cat, and that little floating guy Orko the killer whale (well thats what it sounds like) that hung around, he freaked me out although She-ra was hot there was many a night that...you really don't want to hear the rest of that story!

DON'T CARE BEARSPassing around the LSD

Next was The Care Bears, what the hell man did the creators take a whole bunch of drugs before coming up with this idea? I mean what the hell was the point of that show besides the fact that teddy bears could talk and made rainbows shoot out of their tummy's and scare the crap out of young children or was that just me that woke up in the middle of the night worried that a talking deformed midget grizzly was going to hug me to death?

CHUNDER CATS

Suck on my snarf snarf

Thunder cats were cool the best of the lot it taught young people that interspecies sex was ok as long as you did it while trying to save the world and if you did you would have sexy half man half cat daughters that would grow up to be massive sluts or thats how I saw it, and poor old Snarf taught us that miss treating strange looking creatures with disabilities is ok if you can get a laugh out of it, you go snarf snarf!

RAINBOW SHITE

Rainbow Brite theres nothing I can say I never watched it (sure I didn't) but it was just as f**ked up as the rest of them!

Read more...

GTH-Compassion

I am Going to Hell, GTH, and Number 2: My Lack of Compassion



While relieving the four beers and the beef Burrito I ate at 2am today, my attention moved from absolute stench of the moment to a crime related headline in the newspaper.



“Death row inmate: I'm too fat to execute”



In Columbus, Ohio a death row inmate named Richard Cooey, 41, says he is too fat to be executed after raping and murdering two young women in 1986.



The article centers on the possibility that the fat ass will have pain during his execution because it is difficult to find his veins due to his oversized carcass. His trophy to gluttony makes it difficult to deliver enough anesthesia to reduce the pain from the lethal injection that would be used to kill him.


Instead of taking his plea for leniency and showing him some compassion I go into a rant:

You fuckin fat bastard, if you didn’t spend your time eating lard and cheese sandwiches, you may have given a woman an opportunity to give you a little sexual pleasure before your crime spree.


But NO, you take the hard road to pleasure and rape and murder women in desperation.

Then after all that, you want us to give you a pass, because you are still a fat bastard and we will not be able to find your veins?


Wrong answer. Here are your options:

1. Go on a rice cake and water diet until you can lose enough weight so we can administer the anesthesia so your fat worthless ass will not feel the pain of death; OR


2. We stick you fat ass into a guillotine and cut your head off, then you can eat to your heart’s content without gaining any weight.


You have 30 days to choose a method, if you fail to comply, we will just put a shotgun in your mouth and blow your head off!

Related: GTH-Courtesy – No. 1

Read more...

Brangelina's New Baby

Forget about the current immigration bill approved by the US Senate but loathed by Congressional Republicans.

Forget about the american political merry-go-round of Republicans defending corrupt Democrats because they think their arrest was unconstitutional.

Forget about the stupidity about English-only legislation while the United States still hasn't figured out what to do with their Spanish-speaking colony.

Forget about the Soul Patrol voter turn out or Duke's soulless women Lacrosse team.

Forget about chaos in East Timor or the Earthquake that shook Indonesia.

All we care about is Brangelina's new baby!
Now that the $400 million baby pictures are online, aren't you going to look at them?

Jumpin' Jehosephat. Wow, I can see why they fetch so much. Certainly the most hideous creature I've ever seen. That is circus sideshow freak material right there folks. "Step right up, step right up! See the 2-1/2-foot-tall vicious demon-child named Damo, it popped out of Brangelina's shared womb and ate the doctor's face in three seconds flat."

Hey, I think those pics could be a goldmine for some amateur photographer.
Congratulations Brangelina! Your child has a face so ugly that as a mother you won't know which end to put the diaper on. It looks like it crawled out from some subterranean abyss to brighten the lives of these long-suffering parents. The dentist may want to treat that thing by mail-order. Boy oh boy, just goes to show you, two beautiful people make one ugly baby... all that anticipation only to be one huge letdown in the looks department. Their child-beast certainly makes blindness a wonderful thing to look forward to.

Anyway. Life is too short to be depressed and ranting and raving all the time. Unless you're an Angry Clown. But with Brangelina for parents, breast feeding has to ease the tension some, yes?

p.s. TITS! Now I have your attention.

Read more...

SCAMMED

Unless you live under a rock (nothing against people that live under rocks) you would of heard about these scam websites (click to visit scam site) selling fake tickets to sporting events at the Beijing Olympics and they have done a good job of it making over 50 million dollars from suckers like you! So me being me I thought I would pick on them for being really really stupid and stuff.

So if you have a ticket that you bought online here are some of the signs that you might of been scammed.

1. Instead of the ticket having the usual colored Olympic rings on it they are deep fried onion rings.
2. The events that are on the ticket include a burp contest and tuna tossing.
3. The warranty wont arrive until 10 years after the games have finished.
4. The ticket has Athens scratched out and Beijing Olympics written in felt pen over the top.
5. If you buy one you get one free.
6. Its printed on dirty toilet paper.
7. The ticket comes free with a happy meal.
8. You have to scratch it to see if you've actually won the ticket.
9. If you bought it from a website that has "scam" or "fake" in the tittle you are boned !
10. It never arrives and when you visit the "office" of the company some guy called Chang has no idea what is going on but sells really good fried rice!
    

If any of these things sound familiar then you have been scammed time to start over!

Shark bait!

Read more...

Doodle Don'ts

WOW I'll never be the same after that post, thank you Static for opening my eyes to the world of sea creature fetishes I thought I was the only one it feels good to know theres more like me out there! Keep em coming !

Now in other news my weekend adventure to the local river for a swim came unstuck when I found my balls were actually very much alive, contrary to popular belief, and also scared of cold water this would not of usually been a problem until the rope hanging from a tree decided to kidnap my pants underwear and all when a bomb dive went horribly wrong.


First reports claim that several small children were mentally and irreversibly damaged when my never parts (I call them that because they've never been touched by a women) emerged from the river wearing nothing more then a small length of seaweed which actually covered a lot.

A few small trees were injured at the horrific scene when I scrambled for branches to hide my shame unfortunately one of those branches contained the dreaded itchy grub which made my life over the next few hours a itchy hell. Although the swelling did make me look bigger the redness and itching did not look good like a half inflated red balloon that had been filled with jelly.

It took a a while for my friends and the rest of the world to stop laughing and retrieve my pants from the tree of destiny by which time I had retreated to my car never to venture back out into the river until a certain amount of ball scratching and alcoholic beverage had been consumed.

In the end everything worked out, we had a laugh and a massive rash to keep me entertained for the rest of the weekend. This was a major turning point in the way I wear clothes and the amount of piss I take when I go swimming this shall never happen again, I swear by the power of gray skull.

Read more...

Crabs Only Itch When You're Angry

While The Angry Dolphin peeps on Slave crabs slaving away in the evil crab slave volcano, I had a wild thought and a wild moment with my clown.

So on this particular evening when I was alone and playing with my clown I suddenly heard a knock at the door. I cleaned up quickly, quicker than I ever had before and hurried to see who was there. Why it was my good friends Buffy, Willow, and their friend Riley, and their friends friends Anya, Xander and Giles!

Static: Wow! Hay guyz wutz goin on, LULZ! (wipes sticky hand on half open bath robe)

Buffy: Okay, you get Fang, I'll get Horny. I mean... Vampire-Demon tag team. Who says we can't all get along? Vamps hate demons. It's like stripes and polka-dots. Major clashing. I mean it now - first thing in the morning, we go tell Giles.

Riley: First thing. Good plan.

Static: Horny? Hooooowee! Yo so nasty girrl!

Xander: Anyways, they'll probably be too busy flirting with every other girl at the party to even notice you.

Static: Party? There's a partee man?!

Anya: So, you don't think I'm desirable enough to be flirted with? Is that it?

Static: Huh, WTF... I think ur like totally hawt! (rubs nipple) Partay partay! Hey!

Xander: I'm just not gonna win here, am I? (pauses - looks frustrated... sexually frustrated perhaps)

Xander: We've gone other nights without sex.

Static: You poor fool, if I were with her I'd have nailed her by now.

Anya: I know. Twice!

Static: I know.. RIGHT?!

Xander: Dude, I think she was talkin' to me. Who is this guy? Nice hair man. Sheesh! (rolls eyes) Anyway, Anya, there's a lot more to you and me than the sex. Well, there should be.

Static: Uhhhhh, what else should there be?

Anya: I don't understand. I'm pretty, I'm young. Why didn't you take advantage of me? Is there something wrong with your body?

Xander: There's nothing wrong with my body.

Static: Pffft! Peshaw, yeah..like omg, right! Dude man, you're so ghey.

Anya: (laughs) Well, there must be somethin' wrong with your body. I saw that wrinkled man on TV talking about erectile dysfunction and -

Xander: Whoa! Hey! All systems go, here. No function problem, okay? You want sex? Let's have sex. Right here! Hot, sweaty, big sex!

Static: Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about! I'm ready! Let's do this! Right here? Or in the kitchen... on the floor???!! (starts to take off robe)

(Everyone gasps and looks away - then a moment of complete silence)

Static: What?

Giles: (looks around at everyone) So... the two of them were working as a team?

Buffy: Everything except giving each other little pats on the behind.

Static: YEAH BABY THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT! (throws robe over Xander's head and jumps Buffy)



And now.. another word from our sponsors...




HEY! You nerds ever wanted a little sea creature fetish porn to get you all hot and bothered, even more than you already are if that's possible?

Well, look no further!



Octopus Fetish - Starring Ms. Nicotine (click here for more)

Click the button for Octopus Fetish theme music.


Get your Octopus fetish on today!
Act now and receive this free bonus offer as our gift to you!!!



NORMALLY THESE SELL FOR .25 cents! ACT NOW AS SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED

Brought to you by

Krapsody TM

Read more...