tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39967257104696437812024-03-15T01:28:45.512+10:00ACHomemade abortion kits available now!Angry_Clownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06874704878094893610noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-11220597860813049652009-07-08T11:50:00.009+10:002009-08-20T16:14:49.255+10:00Lick The Big Bone (Revised)<p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPDruvoy9CczvhUd-eFPMT3bdVzMGyX1TeEMUtUPBIPHK_gc_YEnisVC7hIo7flrkm3ck1dXwOCn_71lhzLm8KBYxzNMfs6J1vawGc4ON-0rbWILoeX5R4GnyyYUPqez-qcd-9O00iErQ/s1600/kysite7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPDruvoy9CczvhUd-eFPMT3bdVzMGyX1TeEMUtUPBIPHK_gc_YEnisVC7hIo7flrkm3ck1dXwOCn_71lhzLm8KBYxzNMfs6J1vawGc4ON-0rbWILoeX5R4GnyyYUPqez-qcd-9O00iErQ/s320/kysite7.jpg" border="0" /></a> </div><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">^ Another Guest Post Courtesy of Static</span><br /><br />You can thank Thomas Jefferson, the third President of the United States (1801–1809), and the principal author of the Declaration of Independence (1776), for starting what would become the largest collection of North American Mammoth fossil bones (in scientific speak that means, old massive pricks.) **No thanks to that wonderful duo, <a href="http://www.nps.gov/history/nr/travel/lewisandclark/bbo.htm">Lewis and Clark</a> and their perverse <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewis_and_Clark">expedition across America</a>.**<br /><br />History and science come together in this fascinating story of a woodland salt lick and how the fossilized Big Bones found there influenced the beginnings of paleontological pornography in America.<br /><br />Located on Beaver Road and between the communities of Beaverlick and Rabbit Snatch, Northern Kentucky's Big Bone Lick saline springs have nurtured man and animal for centuries, and the Big Bones of extinct mastodons, bison and other creatures are buried deep in there to prove it.<br /><br />The park features several nature trails, including the Outdoor Museum of Big Bonin' with Discovery Trail (I'll let you decide what that means), complete with spurting springs - and everyone knows that Kentuckians love salty springs erupting from <u>Big Bones</u>, just as much as Georgians do.<br /><br />Ever seen <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gLN3QoN-q8">Deliverance</a>?<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6c/Types_of_Life-_Khevsur,_a_subgroup_of_Georgians_%28A%29.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6c/Types_of_Life-_Khevsur,_a_subgroup_of_Georgians_%28A%29.jpg" width="420" border="0" height="401" /></a></div><center style=";font-family:";"><span style="font-size:x-small;">We're all Georgians..well, sorta, not really. But we do have Big Bones. To the Gulag, Boris!<br /></span></center><br /><br /><br />Biology Professor emeritus Eyema Hedonist, illuminates a time when the concept of extinction of the <u>Big Bone</u> was considered outrageous, if not downright blasphemous, since it contradicted the biblical doctrine of a perfect, unchanging <u>Big Bone</u> creation. The <u>Big Bone</u> Theory, if you will, was met with much criticism.<br /> <br />Early 18th-century <u>Big Bone</u> naturalists believed the <u>Big Bones</u> were remnants of some, get this: rare type of <u>elephant dong</u>, possibly even <u>Asian elephant dongs</u> that had somehow wandered into American forests.. let's just see how many hits those underlined search words get on Google. God knows I've had plenty for <a href="http://krapsody.blogspot.com/2008/04/mythical-beasts-are-whale-penis.html">whale penis</a>.<br /><br />Thomas Jefferson used the Mammoth bones to refute the European idea that the New World environment was inferior and unable to grow large animals.<br /><br />No doubt, this theory was unfounded.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.gdargaud.net/Humor/Pics/FatFaeries.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="http://www.gdargaud.net/Humor/Pics/FatFaeries.jpg" width="420" border="0" height="388" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:x-small;"><span style=";font-family:";" >These elephants got Big Bones. </span></span></div><br /><br /><br />**<a href="http://img25.imageshack.us/i/bigbonesdetail.png/" target="_blank"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/7633/bigbonesdetail.png" alt="Big Bones" border="0" /></a><br />In <a href="http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Runescape">RuneScape</a>, or <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Runescape">Run(Escape)</a> as it is known in some circles; Big Bones are items associated with the skill prayer. Any RuneScape nerd knows Big Bones give 15 experience points when buried (we won't tell you where).<br /><br />This is over three times as much experience as bones, making big bones an extremely popular method of training prayer in free-to-play (F2P). They are dropped by normally large monsters, such as any sorts of Giants (or elephants as pictured above), Giant Frogs, Ogres, your Wicked Stepmother etc.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/2537/barbarastreisand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/2537/barbarastreisand.jpg" alt="Streisand wants Big Bone" width="150" border="0" height="150" /></a></div><center style=";font-family:";"><span style="font-size:x-small;">Your Wicked Stepmother likes Big Bones<br />but she don't get none<br /></span></center><br /><br />The only free-to-play monsters that drop big bones are: hill giants, moss giants, ice giants, and your Wicked Stepmother.<br /><br />Lately the price has been skyrocketing for big bones, most likely because of such high demand.<br /><br />So dig deep if you wanna buy a Big Bone!**<br /><br />**It's also common knowledge that porn stars like Big Bones. Just ask porn star <a href="http://www.blogger.com/%20http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikki_Benz">Nikki Benz</a>. She'll tell you all about her love for Big Bones. Poised for greatness, she can make Big Bones disappear before your very eyes. She has starred in plenty of Big Bone prone movies, and has plans to make many many more.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtu4pWstYCriw9DqSaVY-dW9q_bLTFCv1IWw_FPLLYs3UzFhiSeZZ7AzQJxY6Cjknhp9zRLPJB6cYLvHuS_BQLXmiSiCSgxPLnW9UYgF-bucccsSBN0tGNHZ4LTiEf0Q3uxRpULZv0x_sm/s400/brazzers-7254.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtu4pWstYCriw9DqSaVY-dW9q_bLTFCv1IWw_FPLLYs3UzFhiSeZZ7AzQJxY6Cjknhp9zRLPJB6cYLvHuS_BQLXmiSiCSgxPLnW9UYgF-bucccsSBN0tGNHZ4LTiEf0Q3uxRpULZv0x_sm/s400/brazzers-7254.jpg" alt="this cum dumpster probably haz teh aids" border="0" /></a><center style=";font-family:";"><span style="font-size:x-small;">Nikki bends over backwards for Big Bones..<br />..the FREE couch also needs a new home and a good cleaning. Any takers?</span></center><br /><br />The scumbucket porn industry is always seeking Big Bones to add to their collection. But since you don't have a Big Bone, you are excluded.**<br /><br /><br /><br />Today <u>Big Bone</u> lies mostly in obscurity, much like this blogger's articles. However, with the advent of Viagra and Cialis, <u>Big Bone</u> may rise again. Long live <u>Big Bone</u>! The End.<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.usajewish.com/images2/bush_gay.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="big gay gwb bone" src="http://www.usajewish.com/images2/bush_gay.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="196" border="0" height="200" /></a></div><br /><q>It's amazing what you can find on the 'interweb',</q> said Jumbone Licker, <q>If I were to surf the <q>net</q> more often, I'd totally do it nekkid!</q><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />You can find out more about this degenerate, obscure blog-tard and his mammoth <u>Big Bone</u> at the following links:<br /><br /><table style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); font-family: arial; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; width: 100%;"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 0px 5px 2px; vertical-align: top;"><div>Static</div><div style="margin-top: 10px;">Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor</div><div>the Land of Arse<br />USA</div></td><td style="padding: 5px 2px; vertical-align: top;"><div></div><div style="float: left; font-weight: bold; margin-top: 10px;"><a href="http://www.krapsody.com/">http://www.krapsody.com</a></div><div style="margin: 10px 0pt 0pt 5px; float: left;"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/Krapsody"><img src="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/images/rss_s3.gif" style="border: 0pt none ;" /></a></div></td><td rowspan="2" style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle; width: 30%;"><a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/"><img src="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/yimg.php?tp=u&id=2008022820342493" style="border: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); margin-left: auto;" /></a></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2"><div style="padding: 2px 5px; font-family: arial; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">funny pics & videos, humor, comedy, satire</div><div style="padding: 5px 5px 0px;"><a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/members/Krapsody/" title="MyBlogLog"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/imybloglog.png" style="border: 0pt none ;" /></a><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/myspace/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/imyspace.png" style="border: 0pt none ;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/twitter/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/itwitter.png" style="border: 0pt none ;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/digg/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/idigg.png" style="border: 0pt none ;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/blogger_id/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/iblogger_id.png" style="border: 0pt none ;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/technorati/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/itechnorati.png" style="border: 0pt none ;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/youtube/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/iyoutube.png" style="border: 0pt none ;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/stumbleupon/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/istumbleupon.png" style="border: 0pt none ;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/reddit/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/ireddit.png" style="border: 0pt none ;" /></a></span></div></td></tr><tr><td colspan="3" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); padding: 3px 0pt 0pt 5px;">Visit <a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/">MyBlogLog</a> and get a signature like this!</td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p>Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-86642182490694583442009-03-13T13:34:00.007+10:002009-08-25T14:17:10.261+10:00Fitness Tips From An Unlikely Source<p><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">^ Another Guest Post Courtesy of Static</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://img330.imageshack.us/img330/9974/anorexic3gv.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 302px; height: 325px;" src="http://img330.imageshack.us/img330/9974/anorexic3gv.jpg" alt="fat ass" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"> Embrace your fatness, if someone can wrap their arms around you</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://xf3.xanga.com/119c9bf512130131657023/z83671547.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 288px; height: 384px;" src="http://xf3.xanga.com/119c9bf512130131657023/z83671547.jpg" alt="skinny ass" border="0" /></a> <span style="font-size:85%;">"Ooh, look at me. I'm like, sooo skinny!"</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">You're a fat wannabe hoochie mama. Oh what, you have an 18.5 BMI?<br />That doesn't make you anorexic, it just means you're a spun out crack whore.</span><br /></div><br /><br /><br />Angry Clown has some answers to everyday questions about fitness and the importance of a good diet. You can read the following Q&A for the details.<br /><br />Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?<br /><br /> A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.<br /><br /> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?<br /> A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.<br /><br /> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?<br /> A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!<br /><br /> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?<br /> A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.<br /><br /> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?<br /> A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!<br /> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?<br /> A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?<br /><br /> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?<br /> A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.<br /><br /> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> Q: Is chocolate bad for me?<br /> A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!!<br /> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> Q: Is swimming good for your figure?<br /> A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.<br /> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?<br /> A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !<br /> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> And remember:<br /> Ashley Olsen isn't "the fat twin".<br /><br /><br />You can find out more about embracing your fatness by visiting:<br /><br /><table style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); font-family: arial; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; width: 100%;"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 0px 5px 2px; vertical-align: top;"><div>Static</div><div style="margin-top: 10px;">Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor</div><div>the Land of Arse<br />USA</div></td><td style="padding: 5px 2px; vertical-align: top;"><div></div><div style="float: left; font-weight: bold; margin-top: 10px;"><a href="http://www.krapsody.com/">http://www.krapsody.com</a></div><div style="float: left; margin: 10px 0pt 0pt 5px;"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/Krapsody"><img src="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/images/rss_s3.gif" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></div></td><td rowspan="2" style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle; width: 30%;"><a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/"><img src="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/yimg.php?tp=u&id=2008022820342493" style="border: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); margin-left: auto;" /></a></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2"><div style="font-family: arial; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; padding: 2px 5px;">funny pics & videos, humor, comedy, satire</div><div style="padding: 5px 5px 0px;"><a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/members/Krapsody/" title="MyBlogLog"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/imybloglog.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/myspace/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/imyspace.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/twitter/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/itwitter.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/digg/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/idigg.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/blogger_id/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/iblogger_id.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/technorati/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/itechnorati.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/youtube/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/iyoutube.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/stumbleupon/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/istumbleupon.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/reddit/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/ireddit.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span></div></td></tr><tr><td colspan="3" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); padding: 3px 0pt 0pt 5px;">Visit <a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/">MyBlogLog</a> and get a signature like this!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p><p>Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-50858821886065771332009-02-06T12:46:00.006+10:002009-02-10T17:40:54.337+10:00Madness at the Pumps<p><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://aftermathnews.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/gas_sign_070516_2151.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://aftermathnews.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/gas_sign_070516_2151.jpg" width="189" /></a></div><br />Gas prices are beginning to rise again. Ironic considering it dropped just before Thanksgiving here in the states long enough to trick some folks that blowing their Christmas bonuses on a new HDTV was a good idea. <br /><br />You remember that movie Mad Max (it's awesome on a huge tv set) starring that Australian actor Mel "Passion of the Christ" Gibson, y'know gas is so precious that people are killing each other for it. It was set in the future -- I believe it's set in 2009.<br /><br />At any price, gasoline can hurt more than your wallet, petroleum is a precious commodity. Did you know that: Gasoline is extremely flammable; It is harmful or fatal if swallowed; May be harmful if inhaled; May cause irritation; May be harmful if absorbed through the skin.<br /><br />I learned all that while I was huffing some, then I doused myself in it and had a drink just for good measure. And then I lit up a cigarette, which was odd because I don't smoke, and yep sure enough gasoline is extremely flammable and fatal.<br /><br />Fatal it is. Sniffing out the great peril lurking quietly in my gas container, I realized that not only the dangers of but the <i>value</i> of gasoline are not exaggerated, we're talking liquid gold here folks! You cannot, MUST NOT waste a single drop!<br /><br />As a horrid example of the waste of gasoline, I give you this tragic accident that occurred the other day. A gas station exploded causing the loss of hundreds of gallons of gas. Was it some idiot that caused it by huffing some, then lighting up a stogie...oops, did I do that? Community members who didn't burn to death are struggling to accept the devastating loss of so much premium fuel. Have a look at the video.<br /><br /><center><br /><a href="http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=50273126">Survivors Of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss Of Gasoline</a><br /><object height="360" width="425"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"/><param name="movie" value="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=50273126,t=1,mt=video"/><embed src="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=50273126,t=1,mt=video" width="425" height="360" allowFullScreen="true" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object><br /></center><br /><br /><br />What a horrible tragedy, this event will certainly lead to rising gas prices and the downfall of humanity. But at least I can still get cheap burritos.<br /><br /><br />You can find out more about <s>ass</s> GAS explosions by visiting:<br /><br /><table style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); font-family: arial; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; width: 100%;"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 0px 5px 2px; vertical-align: top;"><div>Static</div><div style="margin-top: 10px;">Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor</div><div>the Land of Arse<br />USA</div></td><td style="padding: 5px 2px; vertical-align: top;"><div></div><div style="float: left; font-weight: bold; margin-top: 10px;"><a href="http://www.krapsody.com/">http://www.krapsody.com</a></div><div style="float: left; margin: 10px 0pt 0pt 5px;"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/Krapsody"><img src="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/images/rss_s3.gif" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></div></td><td rowspan="2" style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle; width: 30%;"><a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/"><img src="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/yimg.php?tp=u&id=2008022820342493" style="border: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); margin-left: auto;" /></a></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2"><div style="font-family: arial; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; padding: 2px 5px;">funny pics & videos, humor, comedy, satire</div><div style="padding: 5px 5px 0px;"><a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/members/Krapsody/" title="MyBlogLog"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/imybloglog.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/myspace/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/imyspace.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/twitter/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/itwitter.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/digg/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/idigg.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/blogger_id/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/iblogger_id.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/technorati/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/itechnorati.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/youtube/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/iyoutube.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/stumbleupon/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/istumbleupon.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/reddit/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/ireddit.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span></div></td></tr><tr><td colspan="3" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); padding: 3px 0pt 0pt 5px;">Visit <a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/">MyBlogLog</a> and get a signature like this!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><p><p>Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-9473043222645912312009-01-21T23:26:00.009+10:002009-01-22T13:58:24.809+10:00Tom Cruise Admits "I'm an A**hole"<br/><br />
Wed January 21, 2009<br />
<br />
<a href="http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=dingleberry+usa&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=33.901528,56.25&ie=UTF8&ll=41.720849,-91.461267&spn=0.031199,0.054932&z=14&iwloc=addr">Dingleberry USA</a> (<a href="http://www.krapsody.com/">Krapsody</a> special report) - Tom Cruise in another much anticipated "how far can he get his foot into his mouth" this time moment, Tom Cruise recently said he has flaws...sorta. <br />
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Not in so many words. But as everyone knows, Tom Cruise is God, and always refers to himself in the first person. I will refer to him by his full name, 36.4 times in this article. <br />
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<a href="http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:QzBg-kepdKkRyM:http://blog.kir.com/archives/images/tom-cruise-acting%2520crazy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:QzBg-kepdKkRyM:http://blog.kir.com/archives/images/tom-cruise-acting%2520crazy.jpg" /></a>Tom Cruise admits he came across as "arrogant" in a December 15 <a href="http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b73285_tom_cruise_matt_lauer_today_theyre.html">interview with Matt Lauer</a> on the Today Show. Which is an understatement if you ask any person on the street. Insiders have stated that in recent polls, 10 out of 10 people think Tom Cruise is a bi-polar, crack addict. Basically you could say that means he's an angry clown.<br />
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His fiascoes over the years have cost him not only Nicole Kidman, but eventually a contract with Paramount Pictures where he has likely earned the studio billions of dollars, and could have earned more, if it weren't for his often odd and erratic behavior and his penchant for sitting on a hardboiled egg during interviews, muttering "shh, it's almost ready to hatch...any moment now." <br />
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Let's have a look at one of the most renowned moments of his public breakdown, Exhibit 1: the Scientology incident. <br />
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<center><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jYgN3gTTI80&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jYgN3gTTI80&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYgN3gTTI80">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYgN3gTTI80</a></center><br />
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Aha, oh yeah. Classic stuff. This was the peak of his trek into angry clown oblivion.<br />
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<a href="http://www.stevekmccoy.com/reformissionary/images/cruise_icon_dianetics.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.stevekmccoy.com/reformissionary/images/cruise_icon_dianetics.jpg" width="132" /></a><br />
Let's see if we got this right. 'Tom Cruise scientologist: Class 4 OT7 Platinum Meritorious and IAS Freedom Medal of Valor Winner' wax lyrical about Scientology, Tom Cruise is considered a member of the lunatic fringe. For more of his holiness read my article on <a href="http://www.krapsody.com/2009/01/institutions-of-jocularity-part-i.html">Institutions of Jocularity™</a>.<br />
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To add to the insanity, a few years ago Tom Cruise got pissed at a paparazzo for <a href="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/28294/tom_cruise_losing_his_cool_over_a_squirt_of_water/">squirting him with a little water</a>, which is not cool (that could be considered assault in most states) but then Tom Cruise grabs the guy (also not cool and is just the same as assault) asks him why he squirted him, over and over. Remember that? Well it was just water dude. And the papparazzo was a jerk.. but..uhhh... I think therapists nationwide agree Tom Cruise needs drugs. Mind altering drugs to be exact, which might actually balance him out and help him see reality. Sounds about right?<br />
<br />
Long story short - Tom Cruise has definitely tossed off the shackles of Hollywood oppression and will continue to pilot his Scientology-fueled funny car straight towards you. Who has he won over with his rhetoric? ..well, except for Katie Holmes. I'm sure it'll be just a matter of time before she wakes up to his wickedness. <br />
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<center><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></center><center><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></center><center><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></center><center><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></center><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.virginmedia.com/images/cruise-431x279.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="129" src="http://www.virginmedia.com/images/cruise-431x279.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><center><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></center><center><span style="font-size: x-small;">And now biggest nutbag, err... movie star in the world, Tom Spew!</span></center><br />
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Fun Factoid: Did ya know that Tom Cruise will not allow his likeness to be used in video games or for action figures. Because his likeness is so much in demand, Macy's wants to use his likeness for its mannequins. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v357/staticxess/262388SXaw_w.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v357/staticxess/262388SXaw_w.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><br />
Tommyquins are not exactly all that popular yet.<br />
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It also seems Tom Cruise is a slow learner, but he's on the right track to admitting when he's wrong. Another example, early in May 2008, Tom Cruise returned to Oprah’s couch and admitted that he was wrong about postpartum depression. <br />
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Tom Cruise had this to say about his comments regarding Brooke Shields and her use of medications to treat her postpartum depression, "It came out wrong, it’s just not true. I was raised by four women who have children and babies. And that's the way I like my women, barefoot 'n pregnant, slaving in the kitchen, making my dinner."<br />
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"I’m not trying or want to tell anyone how to live their life or what they should believe or shouldn’t believe. But I am. <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And just for the record folks, </span></span><span style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Tom Cruise thinks YOUR science sucks!</span>" <br />
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<center><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/21cVklseM4k&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/21cVklseM4k&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></center><br />
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Tom Cruise went on to say he felt "pressed" by the media during that period of his life - and regrets saying a lot of things on TV. <br />
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He added, "I felt like I could’ve handled it better. Like I shouldn't have said those things on TV at all. I should have kept them to myself, and suppressed my need to tell people my innermost, personal thoughts. It just showed how insane I really am. Muhahahahahahahahaha!"<br />
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The news story ends well. One afternoon after Christmas at Macy's, Oprah and Tom Cruise ran into each other shopping for those 70% off sales, and Oprah promptly sat on him. <br />
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<center>The end.</center><br />
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Well not quite the end, you can see m0ar Tom Cruise smashing fun at the following links:<br />
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<table style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); font-family: arial; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; width: 100%;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="padding: 0px 5px 2px; vertical-align: top;"><div>Static</div><div style="margin-top: 10px;">Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor</div><div>the Land of Arse<br />
USA</div></td><td style="padding: 5px 2px; vertical-align: top;"><div></div><div style="float: left; font-weight: bold; margin-top: 10px;"><a href="http://www.krapsody.com/">http://www.krapsody.com</a></div><div style="float: left; margin: 10px 0pt 0pt 5px;"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/Krapsody"><img src="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/images/rss_s3.gif" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></div></td><td rowspan="2" style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle; width: 30%;"><a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/"><img src="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/yimg.php?tp=u&id=2008022820342493" style="border: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); margin-left: auto;" /></a></td></tr>
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<br/><br/>Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-53374926766440658362008-12-29T07:17:00.003+10:002008-12-29T07:45:24.797+10:00Hiya Karate Tits<br/><br />
Christ Jebus on lollerskates. <br />
When viewing the following video, be sure to wear safety glasses.<br />
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<embed src="http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/2208716/amazing_breasts.swf" width="400" height="345" wmode="transparent" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br />
<font size="1"><a href="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2208716/amazing_breasts/">Amazing Breasts - video powered by Metacafe</a></font><br />
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What does the rest of the world call this technique, hiya karate tits? This is made of God and Win. There needs to be an Olympic beer can tit smashing event. She would certainly get a gold medal, since there seems to be few competitors with massive jugs like hers.<br />
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Can you imagine if she hit you with one of those? She'd either knock you out or kill ya all kinds of dead. <br />
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I wonder if they bruise easily, like a watermelon or cantalopes do? The second thing that comes to mind is, are they actually real, is this some kind of stunt that involves prosthetic breasts? I think those knockers need to be inspected to ensure there is no trickery involved. <br />
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Busty Heart has some notoriety for her talent so far, having her own <a href="http://www.bustyheart.com/index2.ivnu">website</a>, appearances on various shows including that clip from "America's Got Talent".<br />
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Angry Clown will have a follow up report on the identity and background of this woman, and the authenticity of her talents.<br />
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In the meantime, you can see m0ar tit smashing fun at the following links:<br />
<br />
<table style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); font-family: arial; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; width: 100%;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="padding: 0px 5px 2px; vertical-align: top;"><div>Static</div><div style="margin-top: 10px;">Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor</div><div>the Land of Arse<br />
USA</div></td><td style="padding: 5px 2px; vertical-align: top;"><div></div><div style="float: left; font-weight: bold; margin-top: 10px;"><a href="http://www.krapsody.com/">http://www.krapsody.com</a></div><div style="float: left; margin: 10px 0pt 0pt 5px;"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/Krapsody"><img src="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/images/rss_s3.gif" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></div></td><td rowspan="2" style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle; width: 30%;"><a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/"><img src="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/yimg.php?tp=u&id=2008022820342493" style="border: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); margin-left: auto;" /></a></td></tr>
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</tbody></table><br/><br/>Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com3Titty Ho, Raunds, Northamptonshire, UK52.339949 -0.54525152.336671499999994 -0.5525465 52.3432265 -0.5379555tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-84310764584302744052008-12-27T13:18:00.003+10:002008-12-27T13:36:37.066+10:00Weirdest Shit Evar<br/><br />
Looking for that <i>perfect</i> gift? Meet <a href="http://www.japantrendshop.com/facebank-from-banpresto-p-219.html">Facebank from Banpresto</a>. A piggy bank with a twist.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.japantrendshop.com/pictures/facebank-bank-japan-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="157" src="http://www.japantrendshop.com/pictures/facebank-bank-japan-2.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><br />
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I swear the Japanese make some of the weirdest shit in the universe.<br />
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<blockquote>The Facebank is hungry and LOVES to eat your coins! Using sensors embedded in the eyes, the Facebank knows that you’re about to give it a delicious coin and starts to chew. Just leave it in his mouth, and he’ll chew it up and swallow it!</blockquote><br />
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I'd hate to get my finger caught in there... or my penis. O_O YIPES OmzzSgHlFknSH#&;*!!!!!!<br />
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You can find out whether or not I'd actually do that at the following links:<br />
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<tr><td style="padding: 0px 5px 2px; vertical-align: top;"><div>Static</div><div style="margin-top: 10px;">Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor</div><div>the Land of Arse<br />
USA</div></td><td style="padding: 5px 2px; vertical-align: top;"><div></div><div style="float: left; font-weight: bold; margin-top: 10px;"><a href="http://www.krapsody.com/">http://www.krapsody.com</a></div><div style="float: left; margin: 10px 0pt 0pt 5px;"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/Krapsody"><img src="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/images/rss_s3.gif" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></div></td><td rowspan="2" style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle; width: 30%;"><a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/"><img src="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/yimg.php?tp=u&id=2008022820342493" style="border: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); margin-left: auto;" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2"><div style="font-family: arial; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; padding: 2px 5px;">funny pics & videos, humor, comedy, satire</div><div style="padding: 5px 5px 0px;"><a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/members/Krapsody/" title="MyBlogLog"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/imybloglog.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/myspace/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/imyspace.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/twitter/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/itwitter.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/digg/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/idigg.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/blogger_id/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/iblogger_id.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/technorati/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/itechnorati.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/youtube/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/iyoutube.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/stumbleupon/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/istumbleupon.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/reddit/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/ireddit.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span></div></td></tr>
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</tbody></table><br/><br/>Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com0North Pole, AK, USA64.750334 -147.35418164.71372199999999 -147.4709105 64.786946 -147.23745150000002tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-40500212861274563832008-12-13T11:04:00.033+10:002008-12-13T14:15:29.286+10:00Lick The Big Bone<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPDruvoy9CczvhUd-eFPMT3bdVzMGyX1TeEMUtUPBIPHK_gc_YEnisVC7hIo7flrkm3ck1dXwOCn_71lhzLm8KBYxzNMfs6J1vawGc4ON-0rbWILoeX5R4GnyyYUPqez-qcd-9O00iErQ/s1600/kysite7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPDruvoy9CczvhUd-eFPMT3bdVzMGyX1TeEMUtUPBIPHK_gc_YEnisVC7hIo7flrkm3ck1dXwOCn_71lhzLm8KBYxzNMfs6J1vawGc4ON-0rbWILoeX5R4GnyyYUPqez-qcd-9O00iErQ/s320/kysite7.jpg" /></a> </div><br />
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You can thank Thomas Jefferson, the third President of the United States (1801–1809), and the principal author of the Declaration of Independence (1776), for starting what would become the largest collection of North American Mammoth fossil bones (in scientific speak that means, old massive pricks.) History and science come together in this fascinating story of a woodland salt lick and how the fossilized big bones found there influenced the beginnings of paleontological pornography in America. <br />
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Located on Beaver Road and between the communities of Beaverlick and Rabbit Snatch, Northern Kentucky's Big Bone Lick saline springs have nurtured man and animal for centuries, and the big bones of extinct mastodons, bison and other creatures are buried deep in there to prove it. <br />
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The park features several nature trails, including the Outdoor Museum of Big Bonin' with Discovery Trail (I'll let you decide what that means), complete with spurting springs - and everyone knows that Kentuckians love salty springs erupting from <u>Big Bones</u>, just as much as Georgians do. Ever seen <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gLN3QoN-q8">Deliverance</a>?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6c/Types_of_Life-_Khevsur,_a_subgroup_of_Georgians_%28A%29.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="401" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6c/Types_of_Life-_Khevsur,_a_subgroup_of_Georgians_%28A%29.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><center style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">We're all Georgians..well, not really. But we do have Big Bones.<br />
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Biology Professor emeritus Eyema Hedonist, illuminates a time when the concept of extinction of the <u>Big Bone</u> was considered outrageous, if not downright blasphemous, since it contradicted the biblical doctrine of a perfect, unchanging <u>Big Bone</u> creation. The <u>Big Bone</u> Theory, if you will, was met with much criticism.<br />
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Early 18th-century <u>Big Bone</u> naturalists believed the <u>Big Bones</u> were remnants of some, get this: rare type of <u>elephant dong</u>, possibly even <u>Asian elephant dongs</u> that had somehow wandered into American forests.. let's just see how many hits those underlined search words get on Google. God knows I've had plenty for <a href="http://krapsody.blogspot.com/2008/04/mythical-beasts-are-whale-penis.html">whale penis</a>.<br />
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Thomas Jefferson used the Mammoth bones to refute the European idea that the New World environment was inferior and unable to grow large animals. No doubt, this theory was unfounded.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.gdargaud.net/Humor/Pics/FatFaeries.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="388" src="http://www.gdargaud.net/Humor/Pics/FatFaeries.jpg" width="420" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">These elephants got Big Bones. </span></span></div><br />
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Today <u>Big Bone</u> lies mostly in obscurity, much like this blogger's articles. However, with the advent of Viagra and Cialis, <u>Big Bone</u> may rise again. Long live <u>Big Bone</u>! The End.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.usajewish.com/images2/bush_gay.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="big gay gwb bone" border="0" height="200" src="http://www.usajewish.com/images2/bush_gay.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="196" /></a></div><br />
<q>It's amazing what you can find on the 'interweb',</q> said Jumbone Licker, <q>If I were to surf the <q>interweb</q> more often, I'd totally do it nekkid!</q> <br />
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You can find out more about this degenerate, obscure blog-tard and his mammoth <u>Big Bone</u> at the following links:<br />
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<tr><td style="padding: 0px 5px 2px; vertical-align: top;"><div>Static</div><div style="margin-top: 10px;">Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor</div><div>the Land of Arse<br />
USA</div></td><td style="padding: 5px 2px; vertical-align: top;"><div></div><div style="float: left; font-weight: bold; margin-top: 10px;"><a href="http://www.krapsody.com/">http://www.krapsody.com</a></div><div style="float: left; margin: 10px 0pt 0pt 5px;"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/Krapsody"><img src="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/images/rss_s3.gif" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></div></td><td rowspan="2" style="text-align: right; vertical-align: middle; width: 30%;"><a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/"><img src="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/yimg.php?tp=u&id=2008022820342493" style="border: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); margin-left: auto;" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2"><div style="font-family: arial; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; padding: 2px 5px;">funny pics & videos, humor, comedy, satire</div><div style="padding: 5px 5px 0px;"><a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/members/Krapsody/" title="MyBlogLog"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/imybloglog.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/myspace/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/imyspace.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/twitter/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/itwitter.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/digg/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/idigg.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/blogger_id/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/iblogger_id.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/technorati/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/itechnorati.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/youtube/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/iyoutube.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/stumbleupon/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/istumbleupon.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span><span style="padding-left: 5px;"><a href="http://mybloglog.com/s/reddit/Krapsody/?r"><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/mbl/services/ireddit.png" style="border: 0pt none;" /></a></span></div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="3" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(214, 214, 214); padding: 3px 0pt 0pt 5px;">Visit <a href="http://www.mybloglog.com/">MyBlogLog</a> and get a signature like this!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br/><br/>Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com13Unknown location73.277353201924726 150.4687566.826246201924732 120.5859375 79.728460201924719 -179.6484375tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-51574660658976477262008-11-16T09:22:00.060+10:002008-11-17T06:26:29.217+10:00Angry Clown Hate Mail<p></p>Since I've been a guest contributor for Angry Clown, I receive a few hate mails on occasion. They usually end up berating me for making fun of everything under the sun, which includes of all things...clowns.<br />
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Never mind my vicious attacks on overweight-bearded women that smell of limburger cheese, ass-raping politicians that don't lube ya up before doing the deed, and taint-sucking telemarketers that call you repeatedly at 3 am. Okay, they're fucking clowns too, but different from any regular run-of-the-mill clown. <br />
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Glad we got that cleared up.<br />
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This is but one example that I have received about my contribution to the site (or certain aspects of it). I don't even think it warrants a response, but I guess this ass clown was determined to get SOMETHING out of me... so instead of an email reply I will instead mock him in front of an audience for the uberlulz. Personally, I think this guy is a complete whacko. I'll let you come to your own conclusions.<br />
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<blockquote style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Dearest most-est wonderful Static:</b></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>My name is Pogo the Clown. While searching the internet for links to clowning-related pages, I was confronted with the GODDAMN Angry Clown page, and to say the least, I was extremely offended by your writings... fucko. Now WAIT--before you go off and take this as a complete complaint, I want you to know that I KNOW you have (1) the right to expression, and (2) the right, frankly, to not like clowns. But literally thousands of children DO like clowns, and search for the word "Clowns" every day. </b></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Truth be told: it's hurting my business (which includes birthday parties, mitzvahs, and Strip-O-Grams), and and I'm running out of children, especially boys, to "entertain". While you do have the right to expression, you do not have the right to slanderize the entire clowning industry, nor any particular "clown" therein.</b></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>I might agree with you on some of the things on your page--but that picture of the clown tied up on the train tracks? I think that is an extremely poor use of judgement on your part. I would have complained about that myself much sooner if I knew.</b></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Any way, what you are doing is EXTREMELY detrimental to the art of clowning. Thus, I would ask you to please remove all detrimental and/or destructive graphics and materials from your page. I don't think we have to elaborate on what is opinion and what is destructive--good common sense tells us both that.</b></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>I have contacted Google on the content of your page, Yahoo! about the link to your site, as well as the companies from which you have received your awards, as well as the WGN Broadcasting company concerning your graphics. Please do not take this personally; but the content of your writing and the Angry Clown web pages are more than just an opinion--it is a complete display of hatred toward the art of clowning.</b></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>If you wish to contact me, you may do so at JWGacy@gmailz.com.</b></span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Thank you in advance for your understanding and cooperation.</b></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>John Wayne Gacy</b></span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Pogo Enterprises </b></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>p.s. if you are ever in the Chicago area, feel free to stop by my house. Just let yourself into the basement, grab a <s>ghb laced</s> beer and make yourself at home.</b></span></i></blockquote><br />
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<a href="http://www.clownz.com/images/pogo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.clownz.com/images/pogo.jpg" /></a> Gee, that was stirring. John included this rather interesting photo of himself. This image might look quite innocent, but the person under the clown make-up and Pogo persona, is none other than <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Wayne_Gacy">John Wayne Gacy</a>. It's true. He was not really executed. It was all faked. Don't you know by now that bureaucracy makes sharpening a pencil a monumental and expensive task? It was far cheaper and easier to let him go, and then relocate him several times.<br />
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To know that this 'man' raped and murdered at least 33 young men and was a known clown is enough to make my skin crawl. No, not every clown is a murderous, sick human. But if anybody out there is wondering where my opinions of the man come from, take a look and just try to imagine... being subjected to <a href="http://www.cultofqelqoth.com/qelqoth/?p=500">extreme sodomy</a>, getting murdered, and then buried in a crawl space next to dozens of other rotting corpses, by an Angry Clown like Pogo.<br />
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So, as the master of ready wit and stunning repartee, my response to you John, (a.k.a. Pogo) is simply...<br />
Fuck off you red-nosed buggering bastard.<br />
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<b>For more excrement and half-witted commentary visit: <a href="http://krapsody.blogspot.com/">Krapsody</a></b><br />
<p></p>Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-55321448832404286702008-10-27T13:35:00.005+10:002008-11-01T10:30:31.294+10:00Let's Hear it For Beer!Sun. Oct. 26, 2008<br />
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Beer serves another useful purpose, as you will find out in this story.<br />
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Boise, Idaho (<a href="http://krapsody.blogspot.com/">Krapsody</a>) - An off duty prison guard on a Halloween party beer run, smacked an armed robber over the head with a six-pack, putting down a robbery at a gas station convenience store.<br />
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According to video evidence and police investigations, the armed robber entered the convenience store around 10:00 p.m., waving what appeared to be a large black rubber dildo in the air. <br />
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After what seemed to be an exchange of words with the cashier, a man dressed up as Batman (the off duty prison guard) came running up behind the robber and smacked him over the head with the six-pack.<br />
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Once the robber was knocked unconscious, the off duty prison guard and a customer dressed up as Robin, who also witnessed the event, then pulled famous internet gags on their assailant, such as "the beer bottle outline" and "face paint the drunk".<br />
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<img alt="convenience store robber caught" border="0" src="http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/736/beerbottleoutlinemz2.jpg" /><br />
Robin, used his camera phone and took photographs of the perpetrator. The Dynamic Duo uploaded them to the internet for gratuitous LAWLZ, until police arrived thirty minutes later (names of customers are being withheld to protect their identities).<br />
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The off duty prison guard claims, "It all happened so fast man. Thank the lord for Budweiser tall boys in a can and even more thanks for that thirty minutes we had to take all them pictures!"<br />
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The officers revived the robber by opening a Slim Jim under his nose, much like smelling salts. The robber jolted up finally, then upon seeing his reflection in the windows, freaked out and slapped one of the officers in the neck. He was eventually subdued and taken to police headquarters for hosing down and processing.<br />
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<img alt="ugliest man alive 2008" border="0" src="http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/684/mimage1175910ab039388faja7.jpg" /><br />
James Bridges, 46, is charged with robbery, and assault and battery upon an officer. He is also charged with being the ugliest man alive in 2008. The black rubber dildo was not found at the scene. Although after a full body cavity search, the body of <a href="http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/famous/jimmy_hoffa/1.html">Jimmy Hoffa</a> was found in Mr. Bridge's colon. BONUS!<br />
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"We would never want anyone to risk their own safety, but this is a case where two citizens, acting quickly and decisively literally caught a criminal," Boise Police Lt. Ron Winegar said in a prepared statement, "and we discovered the body of Jimmy Hoffa in the process. I guess this is a closed case," he added.<br />
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<img alt="batman and robin the anonymously gay duo" border="0" src="http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/2696/h28fx9.jpg" /><br />
Amazingly, the two heroes didn't even know each other before dressing up as Batman and Robin. Now, these two should definitely throw back a few cold brews together. And maybe have the usual homoerotic adventure in the "Batcave", just like their "anonymously gay" heroes did.<br />
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<p></p>Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-35492425087754613592008-09-28T09:09:00.014+10:002009-08-25T14:34:26.753+10:00An Altnet Chatbot Moment<p><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">^ Another Guest Post Courtesy of Static</span><br /><br /><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-small;">me - monkeying around on the web</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/3759/computer20monkey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/3759/computer20monkey.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/5431/geekmonkey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a></div><a href="http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/5431/geekmonkey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="166" src="http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/5431/geekmonkey.jpg" width="200" /></a><br /><br /><br />So the other day I'm looking for free mp3's to download, yes, I said free.. what? are the feds going to come crashing through the door or something?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> Anyway I usually go to playlist.com but I did a Google search and came across this site that is listed as having free mp3 downloads right? So I click <b>that</b> link - you know I want my free mp3's dammit! Heeeell yeah. Shoot. <br /><br /><a href="http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/9600/monkeycomputerx.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/9600/monkeycomputerx.jpg" width="200" /></a><br />So anyway these bastards (I won't mention their name but it rhymes with Fault Net dot com... ok it's Altnet.com it's already in the title of this post) and they want like $20/mo, you can download unlimited music files, but I don't believe in paying for singles unless I'm buying an entire cd or a box set. Screw that noise.<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,Geneva; font-size: small;">If it ain't free I don' wants it. Don't make me come ovah there bitch... </span> Anyway I try to leave the site and a little window pops up, even though I have pop-up blocker in firefox that 'lil bastard got through! and a representative named Dana starts trying to chat with me. Ok, she's probably a bot. Annoying. So I decided to have a little fun of my own... and here's how that played out; <br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><blockquote>Dana Says: HEY DON’T GO! In addition to receiving Free music Downloads for 7 Days, we will even give you unlimited access to our 500,000 file ringtone catalogue as well! CLICK HERE now!<br /><br />Dana Says: Just type 'HI' or 'Hello' in the space below to let me know you are there.<br /><br />Dana Says: Hey! CLICK HERE to receive Unlimited Ringtone Downloads when you sign up for a 7 Day FREE Trial with Altnet right now!<br /><br />You: Come mi culo?<br /><br />Dana Says: This amazing offer is only available through this chat and for a limited time. CLICK HERE to take advantage of this deal.<br /><br />You: mas panocha?<br /><br />Dana Says: Keep in mind that if you sign up right now you will have access to Unlimited Ringtone Downloads! CLICK HERE to get started!<br /><br />You: no lo tiene en inglés?<br /><br />Dana Says: Remember, this offer for a Free Trial with Unlimited Ringtone Downloads is available through this chat only and for a limited time. It may not be available tomorrow. CLICK HERE to take advantage of this amazing offer.<br /><br />You: ja ja ja ja ja ja!!!!<br /><br />Dana Says: When you subscribe to an Altnet Unlimited Music package, you can download unlimited music files, and play those files on up to 3 PCs that you own.<br /><br />You: no comprendo.<br /><br />Dana Says: OK, Thank you for your time. To end the CHAT simply CLICK on the "X" in upper right.<br /><br />You: do you speak spanish?<br /><br />Dana Says: No, sorry, I only speak English :(<br /><br />You: how about Tagalog? "Suck me, lick me, pretend I'm an ice cream cone." In Tagalog that means "Hi, how are you doing today?"<br /><br />Dana Says: Let’s try to stay on point. You have nothing to lose. CLICK HERE to experience Altnet for FREE with a 7 Day Trial with Unlimited Ringtone Downloads! <br /><br />You: what point? Ok, how about swedish? I'd like to experience YOU for FREE with a 7 Day Trial! Bork bork bork?! Swede babes are hawt yo. They got really pert titti....<br /><br />Dana Says: I am sorry, I only have limited information. For more questions or information, please call us at (800) 401 1435 or CLICK HERE to contact customer service.<br /><br />You: Alright, what else can you tell me about YOU?<br /><br />Dana Says: I am sorry, I only have limited information. For more questions or information, please call us at (800) 401 1435 or CLICK HERE to contact customer service.<br /><br />You: Dana, don't be modest, are you hawt?<br /><br />You: What are you wearing... white silky underthangs? I bet you look really sexy in that skirt and tight blouse you're wearing today..... Hello?<br /><br />(long pause)<br /><br />Dana Says: Hi, thanks for chatting with me today... CLICK HERE to return to Altnet.com.<br /><br />Dana Says: Altnet is a subscription-based service that gives you unlimited access to hundreds of thousands of CD-quality tracks.<br /><br />Dana Says: For a flat monthly rate, you can download unlimited music files, and play those files on up to 3 PCs that you own.<br /><br />You: Do you like garter belts? Whips, chains, jumper cables and car batteries?<br /><br />Dana Says: Unlike other music services that charge you every time you download a song, Altnet allows you to listen to as much music as you want for one low monthly fee.<br /><br />You: I have a great bondage site you should visit. I'd like to tie you up and spank your ample arse with my bare hands. Me love you long time!<br /><br />Dana Says: This allows you to explore all the music you want without having to pay for every single track or album.<br /><br />Dana Says: Don’t wait any longer and remember when you sign up today for our 7 Day Free Trial you will receive Unlimited Ringtone Downloads! CLICK HERE to take advantage of this deal right now!<br /><br />You: I don't think I can wait any longer trust me. What about butt plugs, do you own one? I bet it's HUGE.<br /><br />You: I own one the size of a watermelon and I'm UTILIZING it right now!<br /><br />(another long pause)<br /><br />You: Did I say something wrong? Damn, I think my prostate is swelling again. Helloooo? <br /><br />You: <i>Dana, don't go! You, me, jumper cables..butt plugs... sunset....</i><br /><br />(really long pause)<br /><br />You: Hello? <i><b>Awwww</b>! :(</i></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/113/monkeycomputer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/113/monkeycomputer.jpg" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Altnet.com chatbots hard at work</span></span></b> </div><br />For more inane stuff visit: <a href="http://krapsody.blogspot.com/">Krapsody </a>Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-84879965214627904902008-09-17T07:19:00.007+10:002008-10-15T22:30:02.985+10:00How To Steal An American Election<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"><h2 style="text-align: center;"><small><small>Things each candidate must know in order to become president of the United States</small></small><br />
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1.) Obama's new strategy is simple. Get breast implants. <br />
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<a href="http://www.freakingnews.com/Political-Motivational-Posters-Pictures---1818.asp" target="_blank"><img height="420" src="http://img329.imageshack.us/img329/3527/siliconemotiviationalpouu1.jpg" style="max-width: 800px;" width="277" /></a><br />
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Obama tells <span id="commentcontents-496534">America</span> exactly what's on his mind.<br />
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2.) I think it's an obvious choice for McCain to become a black female in order to win the most votes.<br />
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<a href="http://www.freakingnews.com/Political-Motivational-Posters-Pictures---1818.asp" target="_blank"><img height="420" src="http://img329.imageshack.us/img329/8817/johnmccainmotivationalpiy4.jpg" style="max-width: 800px;" width="261" /></a><br />
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McCain shows America exactly what's on his mind.<br />
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3.) Finally, get rid of your running mates. Biden and Palin are a couple of twits.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://politicalpartypoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/bidenbrain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://politicalpartypoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/bidenbrain.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="http://www.mondaymorningmemo.com/mmm_images/June6_2005MMM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.mondaymorningmemo.com/mmm_images/June6_2005MMM.jpg" width="152" /></a></div><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Why You Should Vote Republican</span> <br />
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<div class="youtube-video"><object height="355" width="425"><param value='http://www.youtube.com/v/CqczNpLg9b8' name='movie'></param><param value='transparent' name='wmode'></param><embed width='425' height='355' wmode='transparent' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://www.youtube.com/v/CqczNpLg9b8'> </embed> </object></div><br />
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<div style="background-color: yellow; color: red;"><b><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><i>Stay tuned for more krap</i>©</span></b></div></div>Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-52157307658073931322008-09-01T10:47:00.001+10:002008-09-01T11:42:10.281+10:00Awkward Moments<center><img src="http://img528.imageshack.us/img528/5020/31003ei1.jpg" border="0" alt="bearded lady"/></center><br />
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There s nothing worse than the coveted fart and sneeze. Unless it's the wretched gas bubble in closed spaces or serene settings and just when you can't hold it any longer you try to let it squeak out not only slowly but quietly and it just rushes out causing your buttcheeks to flap together and it ends up being an earthshaking loud fart. So embarassing. Almost as embarassing as taking a crap and not having any toilet paper nor anyone one around to help you. Which is almost as embarassing as having to fart and having to piss like a race horse at the same time, that is the worst next to having to fart so you let it rip and you end up sharting which is only surpassed by having diarrhea and feeling like you have to go really bad but there is not a single bathroom or bush closeby, so you end up going in your pants. Awkward. What do you do?<br />
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Or if you're a guy and sitting in a chair at a certain angle, wearing shorts and boxers, accidentally exposing frank &/or beans. Has that ever happened to you? Awkward. What do you do?<br />
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Or what if you have a female coworker who has a beard. and it isn't a few whiffs of hair, it's like a full goatee almost like Abe Lincoln's. And you all go for lunch at a pizza resturant sitting opposite to said woman who also is quite overweight. Her pizza arrives first and she immediately attacks it like it's hand-to-hand combat. After the first attack on her meal she raises her head to talk with the rest of us who are still waiting for our food and a strand of cheese about four inches long is hanging from her chin whiskers. She doesn't notice and no one else says anything. Just how do you tell a woman there is a strand of cheese hanging off their beard? Should you say something or wait for five minutes, a near eternity in toe cringing 'don't look/must look' time for gravity to take effect? Awkward. What do you do?<br />
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What's your most awkward moment?Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-80910398579451294182008-08-26T13:23:00.004+10:002008-08-28T16:34:32.335+10:00When Clowns Go Off the dEEP eND<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/stpdrckr420/RonaldMcDonald.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/stpdrckr420/RonaldMcDonald.png" /></a></div><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>25 Ways to Cope with Stress</b></span></div><br />
1. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time.<br />
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2. Use your Mastercard to pay for your Visa, and vice-versa.<br />
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3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.<br />
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4. Make a list of things to do that you have already done.<br />
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5. When someone says "Have a nice day" tell them you have other plans.<br />
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6. Dance naked in front of your pets.<br />
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7. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him/her to pre-school as if nothing is wrong.<br />
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8. Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals.<br />
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9. Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.<br />
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10. Leaf through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives.<br />
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11. Tattoo "out for lunch" on your forehead.<br />
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12. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.<br />
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13. Buy a subscription to "Sleazoid Weekly" and send it to your boss's husband/wife.<br />
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14. Pay your electric bill in 5 cent pieces.<br />
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15. Drive to work in reverse.<br />
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16. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.<br />
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17. Tell your boss to "blow it out of your mule", and let him figure it out.<br />
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18. Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.<br />
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19. Polish your car with earwax.<br />
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20. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.<br />
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21. Start a nasty rumour and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.<br />
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22. Braid the hairs in each nostril.<br />
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23. Write a short story with alphabet soup.<br />
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24. Stare at people through gaps of a fork and pretend they are in jail.<br />
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25. Make up a language and ask people for directions in it.<br />
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And be sure to visit the <b><a href="http://angryclown.blogspot.com/">Angry Clown</a></b> and <b style="background-color: #ffffff;"><a href="http://krapsody.blogspot.com/">Krapsody</a></b> daily!Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-18608351253993452502008-08-19T13:08:00.011+10:002008-08-28T16:40:20.110+10:00Telemarketers iz teh Suck!<a href="http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/2822/businesschimpbu7.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 220px;" src="http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/2822/businesschimpbu7.jpg" border="0" alt="telechimp" /></a><br /><br />It's true! Do they suck? Yes, they suck poo spots and pubes off of toilet bowl rims.<br /><br />I just got a phone call from Capital One the other day, that sounded like this (insert unconfident female voice here):<br /><br />"Hello, this is Jenna from Capital One, looking for someone with the first initial J, last name Goldstein."<br /><br />Now, right away, if I was named J. Goldstein, I'd know that this was not a personal call, and would probably hang up, but since my name is NOT J. Goldstein, and has not been for over 107 years, I informed her that she was looking at the wrong address. Her reply:<br /><br />"Oh, I'm sorry. If you would like to learn more about Capital One, please go to our website at capital1.com."<br /><br />At that very second, she should have been very thankful that I was usually a nice person to telemarketers and not particularly bored or mentally unstable that evening, because if I was a mean and a bored person, I imagine the conversation would have continued somewhat like this:<br /><br />"Capital One dot com, you said?"<br />"Yes, sir, Capital One."<br />"So, that would be an exclamation mark?"<br />"Excuse me?"<br />"An exclamation mark. If I am trying to make a capital letter on my keyboard, I use the Shift key, but if I tried to make a capital 1, it would come out as an exclamation mark."<br />"Um... no, sir, the website has the actual word 'capital'."<br />"Ohhh... so it's the word 'capital', and then an exclamation mark?"<br />"No exclamation mark, just 'capital' and then 'one'."<br />"Is that the number 1 or the word 'one'. It's a little hard to tell over the phone."<br />"It doesn't matter, sir, they both take you to the same place."<br />"So should I put a capital on the letter O in 'one'? Or would that be 'capital capital one'?"<br />"Uh..."<br />"Or I could put a capital in front of both the 'capital' and the 'one', and then it would be 'capital capital capital one'."<br />"Sir, there is only ONE "CAPITAL" in Capital One!"<br />"One-Capital-dot-com, got it."<br />"NO! The Capital comes first!"<br />"And then an exclamation mark after it?"<br />"NO EXCLAMATION MARKS ARE NECESSARY!!!"<br />"Really? Because if this conversation were being written down, I'm sure the last few things you said would have had exclamation marks."<br />...dial tone...<br /><br /><br /><embed src="http://content.ytmnd.com/content/0/4/d/04d4e0808f335189402ce48b8e0ffcf8.mp3" loop="true" autostart="false" height="24" width="69"></embed> Click the button for the most mentally unstable Angry Clown way to deal with a telemarketer.Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-34772116501155201542008-08-12T22:02:00.002+10:002008-08-28T16:40:20.111+10:00I've been sitting here on my bed and looking at my computer screen for a while now trying to come up with the best post ever in human history<blockquote>I've been sitting here on my bed and looking at my computer screen for a while now trying to come up with the best post ever in human history... <strong>but this wouldn't be it.</strong></blockquote><blockquote>- Damo (on writing 'the best post ever in human history' that should have been named 'the shortest post ever in human history'; saved as a draft on Blogger.com)</blockquote><br /><br /><center><img alt="best blog post evar" src="http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/1553/new20key20for20keyboardfw1.png" border="0" /></center><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/9922/grim20reapercn4.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 500px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="LOLZ!" src="http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/9922/grim20reapercn4.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />p.s. <a href="http://krapsody.blogspot.com/">Static</a> is a genius! <span style="font-size:50%;">because he figured out a way to make it look like Damo posted this...</span>Angry_Clownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06874704878094893610noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-77954273029803017792008-08-05T11:47:00.008+10:002008-08-28T16:40:20.112+10:00Brangelina's New BabyForget about the current immigration bill approved by the US Senate but loathed by Congressional Republicans.<br /><br />Forget about the american political merry-go-round of Republicans defending corrupt Democrats because they think their arrest was unconstitutional.<br /><br />Forget about the stupidity about English-only legislation while the United States still hasn't figured out what to do with their Spanish-speaking colony.<br /><br />Forget about the Soul Patrol voter turn out or Duke's soulless women Lacrosse team.<br /><br />Forget about chaos in East Timor or the Earthquake that shook Indonesia.<br /><br />All we care about is Brangelina's new baby!<br />Now that the $400 million baby pictures are online, aren't you going to look at them?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://assets.blogcatalog.com/avatar/usr/168763.gif"></a><center><a href="http://www.magmypic.com/"><img src="http://b1.magmypic.com/usermags/b/b/bbbbcba8eda14727126545e65a75074a_4600.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.magmypic.com/"><img src="http://www.magmypic.com/static/images/mmp_underbar_small_01.gif" alt="Fake Magazine Covers" border="0" height="18" width="115" /></a><a href="http://www.magmypic.com/rate/762415"><img src="http://www.magmypic.com/static/images/mmp_underbar_small_02.gif" alt="Vote for this Magazine" border="0" height="18" width="45" /></a><a href="http://www.magmypic.com/email/762415"><img src="http://www.magmypic.com/static/images/mmp_underbar_small_03.gif" alt="Email this to people" border="0" height="18" width="54" /></a><a href="http://www.magmypic.com/buy-print/762415"><img src="http://www.magmypic.com/static/images/mmp_underbar_small_04.gif" alt="Novelty Gift" border="0" height="18" width="86" /></a><br /><p></p><img style="visibility: hidden; width: 0px; height: 0px;" src="http://counters.gigya.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.0NXC/bT*xJmx*PTEyMTc5MDU4ODc5ODQmcHQ9MTIxNzkwNTkwMTM1OSZwPTU*NzgxJmQ9cGFydG5lcitkYXRhJm49Jmc9MQ==.gif" border="0" height="0" width="0" /></center><br /><br />Jumpin' Jehosephat. Wow, I can see why they fetch so much. Certainly the most hideous creature I've ever seen. That is circus sideshow freak material right there folks. <span style="font-style: italic;">"Step right up, step right up! See the 2-1/2-foot-tall vicious demon-child named Damo, it popped out of Brangelina's shared womb and ate the doctor's face in three seconds flat."</span><br /><br />Hey, I think those pics could be a goldmine for some amateur photographer.<br />Congratulations Brangelina! Your child has a face so ugly that as a mother you won't know which end to put the diaper on. It looks like it crawled out from some subterranean abyss to brighten the lives of these long-suffering parents. The dentist may want to treat that thing by mail-order. Boy oh boy, just goes to show you, two beautiful people make one ugly baby... all that anticipation only to be one huge letdown in the looks department. Their child-beast certainly makes blindness a wonderful thing to look forward to.<br /><br />Anyway. Life is too short to be depressed and ranting and raving all the time. Unless you're an Angry Clown. But with Brangelina for parents, breast feeding has to ease the tension some, yes?<br /><br />p.s. TITS! Now I have your attention.Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3996725710469643781.post-88471957223280751012008-08-03T07:30:00.009+10:002008-08-28T16:34:32.339+10:00Crabs Only Itch When You're Angry<center><br />While <a href="http://angrydolphin.blogspot.com/">The Angry Dolphin</a> peeps on <a href="http://angrydolphin.blogspot.com/2008/07/crabs-arent-always-itchy.html">Slave crabs slaving away in the evil crab slave volcano</a>, I had a wild thought and a wild moment with my clown.<br /><br />So on this particular evening when I was alone and playing with my clown I suddenly heard a knock at the door. I cleaned up quickly, quicker than I ever had before and hurried to see who was there. Why it was my good friends Buffy, Willow, and their friend Riley, and their friends friends Anya, Xander and Giles!<br /><br />Static: Wow! Hay guyz wutz goin on, LULZ! (wipes sticky hand on half open bath robe)<br /><br />Buffy: Okay, you get Fang, I'll get Horny. I mean... Vampire-Demon tag team. Who says we can't all get along? Vamps hate demons. It's like stripes and polka-dots. Major clashing. I mean it now - first thing in the morning, we go tell Giles.<br /><br />Riley: First thing. Good plan.<br /><br />Static: Horny? Hooooowee! Yo so nasty girrl!<br /><br />Xander: Anyways, they'll probably be too busy flirting with every other girl at the party to even notice you.<br /><br />Static: Party? There's a partee man?!<br /><br />Anya: So, you don't think I'm desirable enough to be flirted with? Is that it?<br /><br />Static: Huh, WTF... I think ur like totally hawt! (rubs nipple) Partay partay! Hey!<br /><br />Xander: I'm just not gonna win here, am I? (pauses - looks frustrated... sexually frustrated perhaps)<br /><br />Xander: We've gone other nights without sex.<br /><br />Static: You poor fool, if I were with her I'd have nailed her by now.<br /><br />Anya: I know. Twice!<br /><br />Static: I know.. RIGHT?!<br /><br />Xander: Dude, I think she was talkin' to me. Who is this guy? Nice hair man. Sheesh! (rolls eyes) Anyway, Anya, there's a lot more to you and me than the sex. Well, there should be.<br /><br />Static: Uhhhhh, what else should there be?<br /><br />Anya: I don't understand. I'm pretty, I'm young. Why didn't you take advantage of me? Is there something wrong with your body?<br /><br />Xander: There's nothing wrong with my body.<br /><br />Static: Pffft! Peshaw, yeah..like omg, right! Dude man, you're so ghey.<br /><br />Anya: (laughs) Well, there must be somethin' wrong with your body. I saw that wrinkled man on TV talking about erectile dysfunction and -<br /><br />Xander: Whoa! Hey! All systems go, here. No function problem, okay? You want sex? Let's have sex. Right here! Hot, sweaty, big sex!<br /><br />Static: Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about! I'm ready! Let's do this! Right here? Or in the kitchen... on the floor???!! (starts to take off robe)<br /><br />(Everyone gasps and looks away - then a moment of complete silence)<br /><br />Static: What?<br /><br />Giles: (looks around at everyone) So... the two of them were working as a team?<br /><br />Buffy: Everything except giving each other little pats on the behind.<br /><br />Static: YEAH BABY THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT! 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ACT NOW AS SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED<br /><br />Brought to you by<br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://krapsody.blogspot.com/">Krapsody</a> </span><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">TM</span></span> </span> <img src="http://assets.blogcatalog.com/avatar/usr/127231.gif" alt="Static gives a damn" border="0" /><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img111.imageshack.us/img111/140/bob174x201vm3.jpg" alt="Bob gives every inch" border="0" /><br /><br /></center>Statichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13875998739533600766noreply@blogger.com10