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Be stress free with me

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I've just recently started chatting in chat rooms again after a year long break because everyone in the "outside world" sux balls and I've found something out since I've started strolling the rooms for strays and thats there is NO acceptable and unacceptable behavior its a free for all until you piss off the moderators or site owner.

I think thats fucken great! Here at AC we believe in the freedom of speech as long as we agree with it, so I urge all of you to go in a chat room every now and then and release the stress of your day-to-day lives on some person on the other side of the world that you have never and will never meet!

Here are a few rules to follow when trying to make an enemy in a chat room and let yourself go don't be afraid what are they going to do? Get obsessed, track you down, kill you and where your skin? That almost never happens.

RULE 1: Always introduce yourself as "your mothers lover" or "the dude thats gunna fuck you up" this will almost always raise a response and break the ice.
This message was read
22:16 Dismo: Hi I'm your mothers lover she has nice tits shame about the being dead for 10 years tho

22:17 -Glenda-: oi c**t talk about my mother like that again c**t face you will get a bullet between ya eyes

RULE2: A comeback will be the next thing you will need to come up with as the last comment will bring upon a barrage of explicit words and sentences, you want the comeback to smooth things over so they keep talking to you. "Sorry I posted that on the wrong page" and "what I didn't type that" will get them back on your side.
This message was read
22:19 Dismo: Sorry I posted that on the wrong page
22:20 -Glenda-: ok well maybe you should watch where ya doin it....ill let ya go this time

RULE3: Now you've made it this far you should be feeling a bit better but theres always room for improvement and at this stage you will need to offload all your problems in your life that you have ever had, don't be afraid to write a four page essay remember that the person at the other end is there to listen, always use extreme language and remember that sex romps gone wrong stories will remove large amounts of stress.

This message was read 22:23 Dismo: My life is so f**ked...
22:23 -Glenda-: please I don't care!

RULE4: Never let them get a word in if they do shut them down and belittle their problems with responses like "shut the fuck up I'm talking here" and "thats nothing this one time I...". This pisses them off.
This message was read 22:24 Dismo: Do ya mind mate, I'm talking here you rude f**ker, your whats wrong with the world.
22:25-Glenda-: F**k you c**t your really pissing me off!

RULE5: The "can I see you naked on cam" comment can make the difference between a good chat and a shit chat, if they say yes then by all means watch them naked on cam but be sure to laugh and call them fat and ugly, this will make you feel way better! If they say no then reply with "thats ok your probably pretty ugly anyway".
This message was read 22:26 Dismo: Do you have a cam? I would love to see your tits!

This is as far as the examples go as I was kicked of the site and banned, WINNER!

RULE6: Saying goodbye is never easy so the best way to do it and relieve stress is to start calling their family "a bunch of retards" and threatening to kill them because "the people inside my head are telling me to". Explaining to the other person that "you live just down the road from them" and "you will be over shortly just to hang out" will freak the fuck out of them and leave you pissing your pants laughing thus your stress is gone!

So the next time you visit a massage therapist or a psychologist think to yourself "do I really need to be here spending all my money or can I just go into a chat room and cause shit?" I think its an easy decision! You can thank me later.

This post has been edited for nuns.


Kelly January 29, 2009 at 5:01 PM  

Wow. You offer sound advice, Damo. Those opening lines in a chat room might be just the ticket to get you some of that sweet lovin' from a chick with big ol' funbags and highly immoral standards and shit.

Another icebreaking line could be: "On Mondays, I get a kick out of spooning out the eyes of retards, cripples and old folk." Then go on to explain, in detail, your various torture methods. That will get the desired results, for sure. Everyone will want to be your chatbuddy.

Damian (666) January 29, 2009 at 6:22 PM  

Yes, yes they will. Thank you for your comment Kelly!

Damian (666) January 29, 2009 at 6:24 PM  

Can you imagine if I talked like that? What a douche.

LMAO Pointing out my numerous genital warts on cam is also an awesome way to make friends on line!

My favorite is called lumpy, yes he is back.

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