Bringing hate to the world threw laughter
You can thank Thomas Jefferson, the third President of the United States (1801–1809), and the principal author of the Declaration of Independence (1776), for starting what would become the largest collection of North American Mammoth fossil bones (in scientific speak that means, old massive pricks.) **No thanks to that wonderful duo, Lewis and Clark and their perverse expedition across America.**
History and science come together in this fascinating story of a woodland salt lick and how the fossilized Big Bones found there influenced the beginnings of paleontological pornography in America.
Located on Beaver Road and between the communities of Beaverlick and Rabbit Snatch, Northern Kentucky's Big Bone Lick saline springs have nurtured man and animal for centuries, and the Big Bones of extinct mastodons, bison and other creatures are buried deep in there to prove it.
The park features several nature trails, including the Outdoor Museum of Big Bonin' with Discovery Trail (I'll let you decide what that means), complete with spurting springs - and everyone knows that Kentuckians love salty springs erupting from Big Bones, just as much as Georgians do.
Ever seen Deliverance?
Biology Professor emeritus Eyema Hedonist, illuminates a time when the concept of extinction of the Big Bone was considered outrageous, if not downright blasphemous, since it contradicted the biblical doctrine of a perfect, unchanging Big Bone creation. The Big Bone Theory, if you will, was met with much criticism.
Early 18th-century Big Bone naturalists believed the Big Bones were remnants of some, get this: rare type of elephant dong, possibly even Asian elephant dongs that had somehow wandered into American forests.. let's just see how many hits those underlined search words get on Google. God knows I've had plenty for whale penis.
Thomas Jefferson used the Mammoth bones to refute the European idea that the New World environment was inferior and unable to grow large animals.
No doubt, this theory was unfounded.
**
In RuneScape, or Run(Escape) as it is known in some circles; Big Bones are items associated with the skill prayer. Any RuneScape nerd knows Big Bones give 15 experience points when buried (we won't tell you where).
This is over three times as much experience as bones, making big bones an extremely popular method of training prayer in free-to-play (F2P). They are dropped by normally large monsters, such as any sorts of Giants (or elephants as pictured above), Giant Frogs, Ogres, your Wicked Stepmother etc.
but she don't get none
The only free-to-play monsters that drop big bones are: hill giants, moss giants, ice giants, and your Wicked Stepmother.
Lately the price has been skyrocketing for big bones, most likely because of such high demand.
So dig deep if you wanna buy a Big Bone!**
**It's also common knowledge that porn stars like Big Bones. Just ask porn star Nikki Benz. She'll tell you all about her love for Big Bones. Poised for greatness, she can make Big Bones disappear before your very eyes. She has starred in plenty of Big Bone prone movies, and has plans to make many many more.
..the FREE couch also needs a new home and a good cleaning. Any takers?
The scumbucket porn industry is always seeking Big Bones to add to their collection. But since you don't have a Big Bone, you are excluded.**
Today Big Bone lies mostly in obscurity, much like this blogger's articles. However, with the advent of Viagra and Cialis, Big Bone may rise again. Long live Big Bone! The End.
It's amazing what you can find on the 'interweb',said Jumbone Licker,
If I were to surf thenetmore often, I'd totally do it nekkid!
You can find out more about this degenerate, obscure blog-tard and his mammoth Big Bone at the following links:
Static Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor the Land of Arse USA |  | |
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Well well well here we are again, thought you had gotten rid of me for good? NO WAY MAN I'm not that easy to scare away and you're probably thinking it was you that made my brain stop but guess what it wasn't you so stop being so fucking vain! Dick.
This picture fucken sucksI cant say exactly why I went away for so long except maybe that I was bored with the Angry Clown and couldn't really be fucked anymore but now I feel like its a place to vent and now I need to vent so shut the fuck up and listen!
Everything sucks, everything is funny, the worse something is the funnier it is, war is funny, farts are freaken hilarious, "cute" computer lingo is gay LOL etc and should be only used when annoying others, car crashes are great, the middle east should be wiped of the map, terrorists should be raped using angry gorillas, everyone should listen to me, everyone shouldn't listen to me, pooh is brilliant and should be used at every occasion, funerals are funny, sad stuff is funny, its funny when old people fall over, midgets are funny and should be laughed at and pointed at when possible, midgets should be hunted as a sport, midgets should be fisted (thats what they were made for), Angry Clown is the best, I am the best, the people that post on Angry Clown are the freaken best and should be fisted, nuns should be felt up, priests should have their wangs removed with a blender, religion should be made fun of especially if its Islam (terrorists), gays are funny and everything should be called gay except the gays, swear words are great and should be used at least once in every fucking sentence shit, genitals make the world go around and are funny, things that look like cock and balls are the best thing in the world, animals hurting themselves is stupid and should be laughed at under your breath...then out loud, "when ... attack" shows should be shown in schools and are the smartest shows on telly, politicians are all fags and are known for sucking cock, shit balls ass, natural disasters keep the population down and are funny (when I'm not involved), EVERY OTHER BLOG EXCEPT ANGRY CLOWN SUCKS LARGE AMOUNTS OF SEMEN OFF A SAILORS SHEETS.
Little fagP.S cute pic's with cute words like in this post totally suck and shouldn't be used under any circumstances!
P.S.S I can use them!
So MAYBE your blog is amateurish...and maybe you've got a high diarrhea-per-joke ratio. These facts are irrelevant. What is relevant, however, is that we can find humor in the most disturbing events known to mankind. For instance, this:
Embrace your fatness, if someone can wrap their arms around you
"Ooh, look at me. I'm like, sooo skinny!"You're a fat wannabe hoochie mama. Oh what, you have an 18.5 BMI?
That doesn't make you anorexic, it just means you're a spun out crack whore.
Angry Clown has some answers to everyday questions about fitness and the importance of a good diet. You can read the following Q&A for the details.
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
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Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
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Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!!
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Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !
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And remember:
Ashley Olsen isn't "the fat twin".
You can find out more about embracing your fatness by visiting:
Static Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor the Land of Arse USA | | |
funny pics & videos, humor, comedy, satire | ||
| Visit MyBlogLog and get a signature like this! | ||
The most important blog in the history of all blogs in the world that has ever been and ever will be has finally reviewed the Angry Clown it was reviewed by the most important reviewers to ever crawl out of a vagina.
So check it out and before you think that its a bad review of Angry Clown please remember that we DO NOT aim to please we like to think that we say what you are thinking, if your a bit off in the head and we are the blog for the working man with no real education and no real plans to get one. This review means that we have succeeded in bringing you everything we wanted to and are thankful for it!
It would of been worse if they had liked A/C !
So when you see her standing there...she won't be wearing underwear
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Ever find yourself stuck in a lift with a fowl smell arising from the big sweaty bald fat man besides you? Yeah me too, want revenge at the expense of your dignity and possibly Youtube fame, then take a huge dump on his shoe using his tie for toilet paper.
Revenge on people can take many forms from dumping on someones shoes to sleeping with their partners or parents (no one wants someone to bone their mother or father).
Anyways what are the best plots for revenge you've seen carried out do you have the urge to serve someone that cold deadly food known as revenge?
Heres some ideas for all you scorned women and yes I know its all women that do the revenging because men don't hold grudges and have mental breakdowns over crap.
We all like a bit of excitement when it comes to revenge and we all like to see a fight, when ever we see a women screaming at a man in the street everyone knows to blame the bloke and yell "U go gal" and "kick his ass" so if you need to yell and scream but want some approval for it then do it in plain site of the public like a city street
If your more of a private person that bottles it up until one day you explode then take the revengee out bush with a shovel and a bucket of lime, I wont finish the rest of this one.
If your a women and I'm pretty sure you are then there a few things that you can aim at destroying of your rat bastard partners that will piss him off no end! These include cars, boats, widescreen TV, motorbike and of course you can cut off his penis but that would just be nuts hahaaa (pun).
So these are all classics and have been done before if you want to be totally original then you have severe mental issues and should seek help you crazy bitch.
One more word of advice, GET OVER IT!
This is hell funny! She so crazy..
What where am I? I know this place from somewhere oh yeah its Angry Clown the most rawken, kick ass, midget fistingness and rottenest blog EVA created in your face biotch BAM fuck yeah.
Sooooo whats the point of this post? Eh fuck points they're to much work, EVA try writing a post with no point? Its called a diary hahahaaaa fuck that.
For the ladiesHeres a point, I'm sick of thinking and I'm just gunna go with what EVA from now on because ya know what? life's short and ya need to do what you want and just say "fuck you" to the people telling you what to do because one day your going to look back and its going to be to late!
I hear what your saying, "aren't you only 26? then why are you sounding like an old drunk" Heres the answer because I want to, problem solved.
Wars are going to still happen and people are still going to murder other people for no good reason if they do what they want and nothing EVA going to change that.
For the blokes (I know you love this shit)So what the fuck is the point? The point is that we are made like this by who EVA the fuck made us or its how we have evolved from fish or monkeys and junk, if you believe in that.
I say fuck it we're going to do what we're going to do and no new president or bible bashing priest with a million followers or douche with a blog is EVA going to change the future, we do that (not very well).
Depressing enough for ya? HAVE A NICE DAY
Gas prices are beginning to rise again. Ironic considering it dropped just before Thanksgiving here in the states long enough to trick some folks that blowing their Christmas bonuses on a new HDTV was a good idea.
You remember that movie Mad Max (it's awesome on a huge tv set) starring that Australian actor Mel "Passion of the Christ" Gibson, y'know gas is so precious that people are killing each other for it. It was set in the future -- I believe it's set in 2009.
At any price, gasoline can hurt more than your wallet, petroleum is a precious commodity. Did you know that: Gasoline is extremely flammable; It is harmful or fatal if swallowed; May be harmful if inhaled; May cause irritation; May be harmful if absorbed through the skin.
I learned all that while I was huffing some, then I doused myself in it and had a drink just for good measure. And then I lit up a cigarette, which was odd because I don't smoke, and yep sure enough gasoline is extremely flammable and fatal.
Fatal it is. Sniffing out the great peril lurking quietly in my gas container, I realized that not only the dangers of but the value of gasoline are not exaggerated, we're talking liquid gold here folks! You cannot, MUST NOT waste a single drop!
As a horrid example of the waste of gasoline, I give you this tragic accident that occurred the other day. A gas station exploded causing the loss of hundreds of gallons of gas. Was it some idiot that caused it by huffing some, then lighting up a stogie...oops, did I do that? Community members who didn't burn to death are struggling to accept the devastating loss of so much premium fuel. Have a look at the video.
Survivors Of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss Of Gasoline
What a horrible tragedy, this event will certainly lead to rising gas prices and the downfall of humanity. But at least I can still get cheap burritos.
You can find out more about
Static Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor the Land of Arse USA | | |
funny pics & videos, humor, comedy, satire | ||
| Visit MyBlogLog and get a signature like this! | ||
I've just recently started chatting in chat rooms again after a year long break because everyone in the "outside world" sux balls and I've found something out since I've started strolling the rooms for strays and thats there is NO acceptable and unacceptable behavior its a free for all until you piss off the moderators or site owner.
I think thats fucken great! Here at AC we believe in the freedom of speech as long as we agree with it, so I urge all of you to go in a chat room every now and then and release the stress of your day-to-day lives on some person on the other side of the world that you have never and will never meet!
Here are a few rules to follow when trying to make an enemy in a chat room and let yourself go don't be afraid what are they going to do? Get obsessed, track you down, kill you and where your skin? That almost never happens.
RULE 1: Always introduce yourself as "your mothers lover" or "the dude thats gunna fuck you up" this will almost always raise a response and break the ice.
22:16 Dismo: Hi I'm your mothers lover she has nice tits shame about the being dead for 10 years tho
22:17 -Glenda-: oi c**t talk about my mother like that again c**t face you will get a bullet between ya eyes RULE2: A comeback will be the next thing you will need to come up with as the last comment will bring upon a barrage of explicit words and sentences, you want the comeback to smooth things over so they keep talking to you. "Sorry I posted that on the wrong page" and "what I didn't type that" will get them back on your side.
22:19 Dismo: Sorry I posted that on the wrong pageRULE3: Now you've made it this far you should be feeling a bit better but theres always room for improvement and at this stage you will need to offload all your problems in your life that you have ever had, don't be afraid to write a four page essay remember that the person at the other end is there to listen, always use extreme language and remember that sex romps gone wrong stories will remove large amounts of stress.
22:23 Dismo: My life is so f**ked...22:23 -Glenda-: please I don't care!
RULE4: Never let them get a word in if they do shut them down and belittle their problems with responses like "shut the fuck up I'm talking here" and "thats nothing this one time I...". This pisses them off.
22:24 Dismo: Do ya mind mate, I'm talking here you rude f**ker, your whats wrong with the world. 22:26 Dismo: Do you have a cam? I would love to see your tits!22:28 -Glenda-: HELL NO NO WAY IN THE WORLD NEVER EVER
This is as far as the examples go as I was kicked of the site and banned, WINNER!
RULE6: Saying goodbye is never easy so the best way to do it and relieve stress is to start calling their family "a bunch of retards" and threatening to kill them because "the people inside my head are telling me to". Explaining to the other person that "you live just down the road from them" and "you will be over shortly just to hang out" will freak the fuck out of them and leave you pissing your pants laughing thus your stress is gone!
This post has been edited for nuns.
I hate posting shit like this but I'm that fucking angry that I have no problem posting it!
I'm not gay and the next person that says I am is gunna know just how not-gay I am. I don't have a problem with the gay population but I do have a problem with my so called best friend telling the world and me that I root my male friends, THIS IS NOT COOL!
The friend I am talking about will read this post and I hope she does, its time to set the record straight, literally.
I'm not gay and never will be, get used to it I'm here I'm straight and I think thats great (my new slogan).
If my friend wants to be a "fag hag" then I suggest you go out and find a real fag instead of wishing that the friends you do have were gay, thats kind of sick and twisted and will end up turning all your friends away from you.
NEVER GUNNA HAPPEN!!
