Sunday, August 12, 2012
I'm 30 today and don't feel a day over 50 Some people may call me immature but all I have to say to that is I know you are but what am I?
Ahhhh holidays I love them I also love sex (duh) so in the interest of science and all things wet and sticky I decided to mix the both up and have a dirty weekend away with the lady it seems like a good idea right? WRONG I went to far and now I'm in pain and not the good pain that comes from whips or clamps or an un-lubed butt plug for today I tried a sex pill!
sex pills are very popular and you do hear stories of how they can go wrong and give you a 24 hour hard on and I've heard the stories first hand from customers in the shop but I never thought it would happen to me. I popped this little over the counter herbal hard on in a pill around 2pm thinking it would give me a good afternoons worth of fun and it did for the first few hours but now it's 11am the next day and I can't even walk outside due to my third leg sticking out like a elephants trunk (yes I'm that big) and the throbbing has gotten to the point where my testicles are the size of grapefruits and almost the same color.
So I've tried the match trick , cold water, panadol, yelling and swearing at it and even slapping it around but that just made me more aroused so now I'm thinking fuck it I should just go with it and stick it in as many things as I can find, you know like random holes around the place play hide the wad for the next couple that stay in the unit they could turn on the spa bath and find them selves having a bath in my primordial sludge that is oozing from every water jet hole.
I'm all out of ideas and hoping posting this maybe some of you would have something I can try as the little lady is full and I really want to get outside and enjoy my birthday with a cold beer up the pub!