Be cool

Yeah it seems like a good idea at the time

Sunday, August 12, 2012

I'm 30 today and don't feel a day over 50 Some people may call me immature but all I have to say to that is I know you are but what am I?

 Ahhhh holidays I love them I also love sex (duh) so in the interest of science and all things wet and sticky I decided to mix the both up and have a dirty weekend away with the lady it seems like a good idea right? WRONG I went to far and now I'm in pain and not the good pain that comes from whips or clamps or an un-lubed butt plug for today I tried a sex pill!

sex pills are very popular and you do hear stories of how they can go wrong and give you a 24 hour hard on and I've heard the stories first hand from customers in the shop but I never thought it would happen to me. I popped this little over the counter herbal hard on in a pill around 2pm thinking it would give me a good afternoons worth of fun and it did for the first few hours but now it's 11am the next day and I can't even walk outside due to my third leg sticking out like a elephants trunk (yes I'm that big) and the throbbing has gotten to the point where my testicles are the size of grapefruits and almost the same color.

So I've tried the match trick , cold water, panadol, yelling and swearing at it and even slapping it around but that just made me more aroused so now I'm thinking fuck it I should just go with it and stick it in as many things as I can find, you know like random holes around the place play hide the wad for the next couple that stay in the unit they could turn on the spa bath and find them selves having a bath in my primordial sludge that is oozing from every water jet hole.

I'm all out of ideas and hoping posting this maybe some of you would have something I can try as the little lady is full and I really want to get outside and enjoy my birthday with a cold beer up the pub!

PLEASE FUCKING HELP!

9 comments:

Anonymous August 22, 2012 at 1:20 PM  

It would seem that you had fun, one can only hope your lady friend is still around to help you out, perhaps you didn't really need the pills.

Party hard, fuck deep!

Jessi August 22, 2012 at 3:33 PM  

Lmfao funny shit.

Kelly August 27, 2012 at 4:35 AM  

Hey Damian, have you tried hitting it with a hammer? By now, since you wrote this post the 12 of August, I'm assuming that your bloated dick problem has been either resolved by going to the hospital and being treated for Priapism (check link below if you don't know what that his) or your dick has exploded in your pants.

Btw, the same thing happened to my dad a long time ago. He walked around Wal-mart with a pill-induced boner and allowed his dick to push the shopping cart for him.

If the second has happened, that I mention (dick and ball explosion), you can always scrape the remainders of your swollen balls and blood splattered cock meat and make it into a hearty stew to share with friends and relatives during after church Sunday meals.

That would be nice.

In any case, I'm glad I finally got around to your latest posts on your blog that I thought you had given up on. I'm glad you're back- once again, Damian.

Here's that link for Priapism:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapism

Take care, Damo

Anonymous August 27, 2012 at 10:54 AM  
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Anonymous August 27, 2012 at 11:08 AM  
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Angry_Clown September 2, 2012 at 9:43 AM  
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Angry_Clown September 2, 2012 at 9:44 AM  

Some people are wayyyy to cool for school!

Hydrangea December 12, 2012 at 5:53 PM  

Nice article and thank your valuable information and I wish you luck

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