Attention All Men: A little Lesson On Sex From Us Chicks

I think that it’s ironic that men who have been drooling at centerfold shots of bubble-gum pink, wide open snatches taken from six inches away can't ever seem to find your clit. Little hint….the clitoris is the gateway to ecstasy for women. Your goal should be to do it better than she could ever do it herself.

While we are on the subject of va jay jays …all you men who employ the "flat palm of hand crotch grind" in the faint hope of contacting aforementioned body part…. Ok keeping it up until we either start screaming or stop screaming should not be a goal guys.
The Vulcan death grip on the back of your head, mid-kiss...gee..no mistaking that subtle body language. Unless you’re willing to cap my pearly whites that you just chipped slamming your mouth into mine, loosen up your grip dude.

Additionally, Guys who complain about going "down there" because, well..jeez..you know...the smell. First of all, those pussys that you’ve smelled in the past probably belonged to some skanky slut who couldn’t be bothered to clean her coochie before you got her sloppy seconds. Not that my pussy ever smells but let me kindly invite you to visit the business end of a set of balls, they don’t exactly taste like cotton candy after being all bunched up and sweated on in a pair of jeans…. 'Nuff said.

Ok you men who think you are going for some kind of Olympic marathon-fuck gold medal. A Dickathalon you might say. Look.. you aren’t Michael Phelps going for and Olympic Record here…Note..It's skin, OK? It's time to stop when your dick starts to feel like it's being wire-brushed. Cum already would ya, We've got to put out the brush fire in our pubes anyway.
And one last note… No it's not good for our skin, unless of course we ask for a facial….hope you took notes guys, there will be a quiz later .