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Attention All Men: A little Lesson On Sex From Us Chicks

Monday, August 18, 2008


I think that it’s ironic that men who have been drooling at centerfold shots of bubble-gum pink, wide open snatches taken from six inches away can't ever seem to find your clit. Little hint….the clitoris is the gateway to ecstasy for women. Your goal should be to do it better than she could ever do it herself.

While we are on the subject of va jay jays …all you men who employ the "flat palm of hand crotch grind" in the faint hope of contacting aforementioned body part…. Ok keeping it up until we either start screaming or stop screaming should not be a goal guys.
The Vulcan death grip on the back of your head, mid-kiss...gee..no mistaking that subtle body language. Unless you’re willing to cap my pearly whites that you just chipped slamming your mouth into mine, loosen up your grip dude.

Additionally, Guys who complain about going "down there" because, well..jeez..you know...the smell. First of all, those pussys that you’ve smelled in the past probably belonged to some skanky slut who couldn’t be bothered to clean her coochie before you got her sloppy seconds. Not that my pussy ever smells but let me kindly invite you to visit the business end of a set of balls, they don’t exactly taste like cotton candy after being all bunched up and sweated on in a pair of jeans…. 'Nuff said.

Ok you men who think you are going for some kind of Olympic marathon-fuck gold medal. A Dickathalon you might say. Look.. you aren’t Michael Phelps going for and Olympic Record here…Note..It's skin, OK? It's time to stop when your dick starts to feel like it's being wire-brushed. Cum already would ya, We've got to put out the brush fire in our pubes anyway.
And one last note… No it's not good for our skin, unless of course we ask for a facial….hope you took notes guys, there will be a quiz later .

7 comments:

Damian (666) August 18, 2008 at 1:04 AM  

I can't stop laughing... Thats actually awesome to know! I don't like admitting this but I do all those things, I thought I was doing a good job and the chicks never seem to complain... until they wake up.

Kat August 18, 2008 at 1:14 AM  

lol see what I mean I am doing a public service here damian

damon August 19, 2008 at 4:54 AM  

I'm gonna print this out and hang it on my refrigerator.

threio August 19, 2008 at 9:31 AM  

will this quiz be virtual or just more written tease?

Kat August 19, 2008 at 12:39 PM  

me a tease? NEver

~Static~ August 19, 2008 at 1:00 PM  

The clitoris? Y'mean that thing I like to slap over and over and over and over again with a wiffle ball bat. Should I not do that anymore?

earthlingorgeous August 24, 2008 at 3:17 PM  

OMG! This is sooooooooo ironically funny but true!

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