Be cool

Ask and you shall wait

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Watch out or they'll get ya hahhahhahblah blah blah gay

I recently submitted my blog to a blog (original I know) and have been waiting and waiting and...waiting for the review and still nothing, ironically the review blog is called "ask and you shall receive". Receive what? A migraine.

Anyways I'm bored so I thought I would review the reviewers blog and hopefully forward the same amount of decency that they show so many other blogs, heheheee fuckers.

WTF MAN this blog is red, now I've seen red before but this is stoopid red its soooo red (its a little to red). I don't know the reason why they chose such a gay layout for their blog but I'm sure there is an ultra gay reason for it.

The only thing that breaks up the red enough to stop you from vomiting is a little cartoon picture of death, you know with the wooden knife thing ohhh scary, the only other thing to stop you from spewing your guts up on the screen is the writing but don't read to much of it or you'll find yourself hurling chunks at the screen.

Enough on the layout, the content of this so called "review" blog is so bad it makes you laugh, its like one of those movies that are so bad that you cant look away, sure they have some good points and occasionally bring the lulz but the amount of crap you have to sift threw before you get to the funny is enough to kill a midget!

Heres what they say about themselves:

This is our own self-imposed quixotic quest to improve the quality of the blogosphere. It is our goal to give bloggers solid, constructive feedback on their blogs. We don't mean to make you cry, really we don't, although we do love to deliver a well-placed and timely spanking. It is all for your benefit, though, we promise. Think of us as the most benevolent dominatrixes you have ever encountered, with really great boots and a thin whippy riding crop. We want to help you help yourself. We want to make you better, not bitter. We want you (well, some of you) to succeed. We are hopeless blog-addicts, and it amuses the bejeezus out of us to find good new blogs. Seriously. So, try not to suck.
What a load of crap!

They are a bunch of nerds that like to think they rule the netz while playing games in their parents basements, they are probably all still virgins except for the blow jobs they give each other while blindfolded so its "not gay".

I give this blog a 5 out 10 just because they tried, even tho they failed they still gave it a crack!



Dirty Pirate Hooker November 25, 2008 at 11:21 AM  

If it's such a lame fucking site then why did you submit your blog for review, douchewad?

Damian (666) November 25, 2008 at 11:44 AM  

LMAO cause I like "lame fucking sites"! I have a "lame fucking site"!! LMAO cheers for the comment dick.

Kelly November 25, 2008 at 12:24 PM  

That's funny.

Chat Blanc November 25, 2008 at 1:31 PM  

here's my question...who died and made them the experts of the blogosphere? :P

rusty November 25, 2008 at 1:55 PM  

Lmao, this entry is great!

Nutjobber November 25, 2008 at 6:29 PM  

Holy shit, did you cook our collective goose or what?

One word: Wow!

It's hard to nitpick that collection of hilarious shots, but I'll do my darndest.

DevilGuy7777 - You're 26 years old? And you write like that? My grandmother has a better sense of sentence-structure, and she thinks mayonnaise is butter, is mentally-unstable, and she's dead.

Based purely on your repeated usage of the word 'gay', I'm going to flat-out assume that you'd take a hot-poker in the ass if homosexuality didn't even exist; like, if it was just some sort of ethereal idea, you'd still be front & centre at your local Firefighter's auction looking for your dream-date with a guy who really knows how to work a pole.

LMAO? Really? All you people, just listening to your brains atrophy is making my dick sad. FUCK! If only they had an emoticon for dick-sadness! Hey, guys? Yeah? Are you with me? LMAO, am I right?

So, you commenters are next, and let's look at Kelly: unfortunately, sir, I think you've misused the word 'funny' in this instance; I'm pretty sure a far more apt word would be 'generic' or 'boring' - hey, man, whatever: take your pick.

ChatBlanc: Nobody died to make us experts, my dear; it's like when I give myself an award later on this year for "Raddest" - unless you ask, you'll never know, much like our site, coincidentally titled Ask and Ye Shall Receive.

Rusty: See response to Kelly above, or take your pick of these to substitute for your ill-advised usage of the word 'great': 'sophomoric', 'really not worth the time that asshole from Ask took to come over and blast'.

Dirty Pirate Hooker: If Key didn't have dibs, I'd be throwing my hat in your ring.

Oh, and if any of you need any help, not with your blogs, necessarily, but just in trying to jostle of those under-maintained synapses loose, maybe I can help you think a thought a two, or perhaps I could whip up some magical potion that bestows personality on cyber-dullards over the interweb...I dunno. Gimmie a ringy-dingy.


Damian (666) November 25, 2008 at 6:50 PM  

@Kelly, Duh!

@Chat Blanc, Steve from accounting? I don't have an answer for that one and good point! You are my new favorite!!

@rusty, cheers I am pretty damn good at everything I do!

@Nutjobber, NO prizes for second place, please come again!

I love this shit woooooooo!

Kelly November 25, 2008 at 7:44 PM  

Gee, Nutjobber, with all those wise words that were just laid out for all of us to be impressed by, I'm guessing you're really clever- but only in your own mind. You come off as a senstive little kid who got their feelings hurt and decided to insult the commenters with your tantrum. Why? I have no idea.

Miss Missives November 26, 2008 at 1:10 AM  

Don't be so impatient for your review, you're in the queue but it's a very long line, that's how much we suck.

For reference because clearly you need it:

To is a preposition that introduces the destination or receiver of an action. For example:

The document will go to that printer.

To is also a necessary partner with an infinitive verb, which is the simplest form of a verb:

To be a dork
To know your own limitations To suck hard

Too is an adverb with primary meanings of “also”or “excessively”:

I think Kelly is retarded too.

Too many trolls, not enough content.

Damian (666) November 26, 2008 at 2:19 AM  

Huh? I'm not smart d00d! Most of the world is not smart, I have too to 2? Go tooo skool again!

Ignorance is bliss ahhhh I just poohed a little, it felt good!

Damian (666) November 26, 2008 at 2:21 AM  

I'll chill and be patient by the way I'm just enjoying this so damn much! Oops I dribbled on my keyboard ahuck chuck.

ghost of keywork November 26, 2008 at 5:20 AM  

Well, at least you're getting some action now. Yes, most of the world IS stupid. Thank you for being part of the global stupidity. But remember, 'majority rules' doesn't hold weight in mental institutions.

Nutjobber November 26, 2008 at 3:11 PM  

I guess you're right, Kel-Kel: I am sensitive... to idiocy.

The problem I have is not with Ask and Ye Shall Receive being lampooned, satirized, or parodied; it's that, when done this poorly, it's nauseating. And when you and your insipid fellow commenters use words such as 'funny' to describe what's so obviously a hackneyed effort, I start blaming you, by extention, for things such as Larry the Cable Guy starring in, what, four movies?

You're LUCKY you got me to throw a tantrum at you - your funnybone is stuck in your ass, and I'm calling attention to your plight.

You're welcome.

Damian (666) November 26, 2008 at 5:14 PM  

Wow do you ever get to the point????

Lydia November 27, 2008 at 1:48 AM  


Damian (666) November 27, 2008 at 9:31 AM  

BAM Lydia, well done!

Next step, a shooting rampage ya bad ass lol!

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