Be cool

A little plagiarism

Friday, November 21, 2008

A story of farts and pooh threw plagiarism .

Yes, his farts are that strong, really. His farts are the main causes of disrupting radio transmissions and satellite images of his country. They've even been known to cause solar flares. Scientists aren't even sure just how much his flatulence may have affected the entire universe.

Your fart always takes my breath away, hitting me without warning. The conversation takes a curve, you have a silent epiphany. The next thing I know I’m blindsided and fighting to defend myself, my actions, none of which seem to appease…..and your voice changes.

“I woke up and smelt these things in my garden and I went to look. But when I saw them, they were the most ugliest things I've smelt.

I poked them with stick and tried shooing them
away but they stayed, as if to laugh at me. I was scared for my life.”
Yes folks, it was a real crackdown.

Because I don't mind showing how much I truly care about farts.

So what to do if someone offers you a pooh?

  1. Inform the offerer that you cannot pooh, for you are with child.
  2. Make yourself spontaneously throw up right after they pooh.
  3. Look as if you are going to cry, and if you can, do so.
  4. Begin to sing a catchy and loud song after they pooh.
  5. Pick up a nearby pogo stick and jump, ignoring their pooh.
  6. Begin to do algebra when they pooh.
  7. Concoct an erroneous algebraic equation explaining that poohing is less than cool.
  8. Tell them your parents are strict, omnipotent beings with a revulsion towards poohing
  9. start speaking in a different tongue
  10. Say "no" in a strange dialect
  11. Say "yes," take the pooh, and urinate on it
  12. Say "yes," take the pooh, and throw it in their face
  13. Say "yes," take the pooh, and cover it in chocolate syrup.
  14. Say "No, cocaine is better."
  15. Say "Moop,'' and if asked to explain, respond with"moop.''
  16. Say "yes," take the pooh, stick it up your anus, extract it, and hand it back to them
  17. Take the pooh, chew it up, and spit it on them
  18. Say "yes," and use it as a torch
  19. Say "yes," and use it as a microphone
  20. Say "yes," and use it to write cryptic phrases on the side of a nearby building
  21. Take the pooh and launch it into the air as far as possible.
  22. Take the pooh and poke the one that offered you with it.
  23. Take the pooh, steal six other poohs, and spell out a "NO'' with them. Then urinate on the bunch.
  24. Begin to "freak out,'' mumbling something about demonic forces at work, the pastime of the devil, to the glory of Satan, etc.
  25. Take the pooh and run away screaming "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!"

This post was brought to you by:
Kats Litter Box

Pwn Greenland and
The Thoughts of a Lone Teen


Don November 22, 2008 at 3:59 AM  

Lol!!! Fucking outrageous...Yeah, sounds like Krapsody alright. Great shit, uh I mean post.

~Static~ November 22, 2008 at 12:29 PM  

Lollipooh teh Clown sayz, "Shit!"

Lydia November 23, 2008 at 2:54 AM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lydia November 23, 2008 at 2:56 AM  

MAN! Your list is far more hilarious than mine! Dang it.

Kelly November 23, 2008 at 3:40 AM  

Funny post. You certainly know your pooh. For Christmas, I'm going to get the biggest jar I can find, pull down my pants and crap and fart into it until it is full and brimming with HOLIDAY JOY. Then mail the gift to ya with a festive bow, complete with dingleberries.

Because I care.

P.S. You took my pic of Bush and Cheney from my blog. You bastard. Look closely and you can see Bush's taint.

Damian (666) November 23, 2008 at 10:46 AM  

@Don, Evey thing sounds like krapsody! Krapsody is everywhere!

@Static, wuh huh "shizar"

@comment deleted, haha you got deleted.

@Lydia, Yeah I know! Dang it.

@Kelly, I am looking forward to my pooh present, I saw the "taint" and the "taint" saw me!

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