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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Having trouble sleeping? Well looks like you need the sleep guide from Damoz direct, thats right a comprehensive guide on what to do if you can't sleep!



Is this a regular occurrence its 2 in the morning and your haven't had a wink of sleep heres some steps from Damoz directs sleep guide that you can follow! WOW

  1. Start writing a new satanic bible trying to get your head around religion will surely knock you out! If that doesn't work try
  2. Eating several different types of rat bait, rat bait is a natural relaxant! OR
  3. Start an argument with your wife or significant other that will almost certainly tire you out! eg Hey bitch wake the f**k up we need more rat bait! OR
  4. Try having a root although it might be a bit hard after that fight you just had...naughty naughty! OR
  5. Try chasing midgets, I know a good midget hunt always tires me out but remember to catch and release! OR
  6. Dress up as a zombie and scare little kids threw there windows! Haha the fun never stops!
  7. and my favorite start a blog! The constant running from website to website trying to get people to view your piece of crap will have you in bed in no time! WOW
All this in a book WOW. Order now $9.99
plus $58.00 postage and handling results may vary no refunds given may cause a rash around your balls and sudden death in extreme cases an extra $100.00 is required on delivery Damoz direct accepts no responsibility for unwanted births caused by lesson 4.

I know I'm buying one for me and one for my mom! I love ya mom ya bitch.

6 comments:

threio August 1, 2008 at 6:02 AM  

I am not paying 58.00 for anything you have handled. I will just copy and paste your tips for free.

Damian (666) August 1, 2008 at 9:34 PM  

Thats cool but then you will miss the extra tips by Kelly on how to fist a cat and tips from Static on how to groom proper and all! Plus the mail man will make sweet sweet love to your face on delivery !

Sharon August 2, 2008 at 1:37 AM  

I have to agree with you on #7... It's hard to find other loyal bloggers who actually visit your blog and leave comments!

BTW... I don't think I'll be trying the rat poison advice!

~Static~ August 2, 2008 at 9:22 AM  

I tried rat poison before, lsd tabs are LOADED with it. It wasn't too bad actually... a few cramps, a hankering for cheese, fleas carrying the bubonic plague. That's it. But must there be all those colors, without name, without sound?

Damian (666) August 2, 2008 at 9:57 PM  

Cheers Sharon for the comment and Static hurry up and post something the fans (me) are waiting! ya junkie

Anonymous August 3, 2008 at 8:54 PM  

DAMO YOU SUK CRABS OFF,IVE SEEN YOU DO IT,NE HOW GOTA GO THE RAT POLICE ARE HERE TO ASK ME SUM Q'S.ITS ALL YOUR FAULT CRAB FUKER???ur beloved friend u know who............................

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