Be cool

Crabs Only Itch When You're Angry

Sunday, August 3, 2008


While The Angry Dolphin peeps on Slave crabs slaving away in the evil crab slave volcano, I had a wild thought and a wild moment with my clown.

So on this particular evening when I was alone and playing with my clown I suddenly heard a knock at the door. I cleaned up quickly, quicker than I ever had before and hurried to see who was there. Why it was my good friends Buffy, Willow, and their friend Riley, and their friends friends Anya, Xander and Giles!

Static: Wow! Hay guyz wutz goin on, LULZ! (wipes sticky hand on half open bath robe)

Buffy: Okay, you get Fang, I'll get Horny. I mean... Vampire-Demon tag team. Who says we can't all get along? Vamps hate demons. It's like stripes and polka-dots. Major clashing. I mean it now - first thing in the morning, we go tell Giles.

Riley: First thing. Good plan.

Static: Horny? Hooooowee! Yo so nasty girrl!

Xander: Anyways, they'll probably be too busy flirting with every other girl at the party to even notice you.

Static: Party? There's a partee man?!

Anya: So, you don't think I'm desirable enough to be flirted with? Is that it?

Static: Huh, WTF... I think ur like totally hawt! (rubs nipple) Partay partay! Hey!

Xander: I'm just not gonna win here, am I? (pauses - looks frustrated... sexually frustrated perhaps)

Xander: We've gone other nights without sex.

Static: You poor fool, if I were with her I'd have nailed her by now.

Anya: I know. Twice!

Static: I know.. RIGHT?!

Xander: Dude, I think she was talkin' to me. Who is this guy? Nice hair man. Sheesh! (rolls eyes) Anyway, Anya, there's a lot more to you and me than the sex. Well, there should be.

Static: Uhhhhh, what else should there be?

Anya: I don't understand. I'm pretty, I'm young. Why didn't you take advantage of me? Is there something wrong with your body?

Xander: There's nothing wrong with my body.

Static: Pffft! Peshaw, yeah..like omg, right! Dude man, you're so ghey.

Anya: (laughs) Well, there must be somethin' wrong with your body. I saw that wrinkled man on TV talking about erectile dysfunction and -

Xander: Whoa! Hey! All systems go, here. No function problem, okay? You want sex? Let's have sex. Right here! Hot, sweaty, big sex!

Static: Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about! I'm ready! Let's do this! Right here? Or in the kitchen... on the floor???!! (starts to take off robe)

(Everyone gasps and looks away - then a moment of complete silence)

Static: What?

Giles: (looks around at everyone) So... the two of them were working as a team?

Buffy: Everything except giving each other little pats on the behind.

Static: YEAH BABY THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT! (throws robe over Xander's head and jumps Buffy)



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10 comments:

Damian (666) August 3, 2008 at 11:22 AM  

Buffy fan ahahaaaaaa, that chick is hot!

~Static~ August 3, 2008 at 11:39 AM  

Let the LULZERCAUST begin!

Hey, who's Buffy? LOL!

Ms. Nicotine is now my love slave. Or perhaps it's the other way around, I forget.. didn't ask. True story.

Right now I have my tentacle diddling around her..-[censored by the FCC]

Damian (666) August 3, 2008 at 11:48 AM  

I need to be alone with that picture for a minute...ok I'm good

~Static~ August 3, 2008 at 12:01 PM  

The one with Hitler y'mean?

Damian (666) August 3, 2008 at 2:31 PM  

I have enough pictures of Hitler at home its Bob thats got me going grrhhh...whatever treva

~Static~ August 4, 2008 at 3:35 AM  

Bob seems too happy to me. I think he needs to come down a notch or two. (that'll be my next post) Muhahaha!

historylover August 5, 2008 at 8:30 AM  

wow, thats just too weird!

~Static~ August 5, 2008 at 11:11 AM  

History Lover - That's right. And it's only going to get WEIRDER!

Deb August 5, 2008 at 12:22 PM  

Hold me. The sky is spinning.

~Static~ August 5, 2008 at 1:47 PM  

Deb - Certainly I will hold you, squeeze you, move you up and down.
Spin you right round, baby
Right round like a record, baby
And while I do that just lean forward against my beer belly a bit more and 'Take It From Bob!'... right up the butt.

=D. =P.

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