Be cool

Ein Goldie Ein Friend

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Theres more to Hitler then people know, this is the story of his goldfish Ein Goldie.

The world was gripped by war and Hitler seemed unstoppable if it was not for the courages acts of a goldfish named Ein Goldie the war may not of ended like it did. Hitler was given Ein Goldie as a present from his mama and poppa a year before the war began some people say that it was the goldfish that started it all.

One day while walking down the street he was picked on and called names like fish f**ker and fin feeler for having a small glass bowl containing his precious fish. Hitler carried Goldie everywhere until the taunts and name calling overwhelmed him and he could no longer bring his friend on his various trips.

Hitlers appearance changed soon after to resemble Goldie's with his small black beard like feature under its nose and a strange looking hair coloring on its little scaly head, Hitlers obsession with his pet had reached a new level.

Ein Goldie was said to be the only creature able to communicate with the freaky Fuhrer about personal issues and the two grew inseparable due to Hitlers invention of the pocket goldfish carrier and goldfish transport mobile, the Volkswagen.

The romance was not to last, on the 30 April 1945 Ein Goldie was found by Hitler floating upside down in his fishbowl the early signs were that Goldie had died due to the build up of ammonia in his tank caused by poop but some say Goldie had made the ultimate sacrifice and is a hero.

Hitler was distraught and inconsolable chopping of his ear in a fit of sadness, he could no longer go on without his fishy friend, the war ended that day when Hitler put a bullet in his head, his last words were Ein Goldie Ein friend.

The one and only known photo of Ein Goldie

This post was brought to you by,
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Are you fisting your fish?

8 comments:

Don August 24, 2008 at 12:19 PM  

You're right. I know because my grandfather was Eva Braun's gigolo. S

Lydia August 24, 2008 at 12:24 PM  

That really explains much.

I wonder why Goldie was left out of the book "I Was Hitler's Doctor" though?

Chris Wood August 24, 2008 at 5:00 PM  

Hitler was notorious for his goldfish obsession. Historians and analysts have wondered about that for decades.

TheFLy August 25, 2008 at 4:04 PM  

Hey, just started reading here and noticed you have more than one author but no way of just looking at a post by a certain author.

So, Im offering a recommendation, add a tag to each post with the authors name and then add the tags to the side. Because unless Im blind, I dont even see a tag list on the side bar or on the bottom of the blog, just right after the post. It would be cool if you added the tag. You can still do it to all your posts, I think it would be really cool so then if someone gets a favorite writer and misses out for a couple of weeks they can catch up. Thats my suggestion but im looking forward to reading more.

buzz buzz

Damian (666) August 25, 2008 at 7:21 PM  

@don. I have no idea in the world who that is. haha

@Lydia. I had to go deep undercover to find all this information out! It was kept a secret until now, I can't tell you where I got it from because then I'd have to kill you!

@Chris. Thats exactly right! Good work 5 gold stars and a smiley face :)

@Fly. I'll get someone else to look into it I'm way to lazy to try anything like that but its a great idea! Thy will shall be done...ish maybe.

jet August 26, 2008 at 7:45 AM  

i heard that the goldfish had killed itself because he found out that hitler was "halb-judischer"

Damian (666) August 26, 2008 at 12:11 PM  

Cool who the hell is that? I'm Australian so therefore I'm a dumb ass! Damo OUT

The OverDrone August 26, 2008 at 1:21 PM  

online-translated to australian it means half jewish despite my mangling of the german language. i also translated the term "dirty sanchez" into australian and it came out "kookaburra sunday"

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