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The Enlightening Journey Of The Insufferable Bastards- Chapter 2.0 Attack of the Islamics

Thursday, November 6, 2008

So there I was about to have some fun with a hot chick with a new trick when Kelly pulled up and popped a blue pill in my mouth and told me about his crappy adventure into the world of religion, by the way it was a red pill, thanks Kelly I've never tripped so hard in my life I was tripping off my balls!

I knew Kelly had no idea about the right religion for him so decided to take him on an adventure into Satanism and the dark arts, stopping in at all the others on the way to spiritual enlightenment, what ever that is?

Singing a runaway pop hit I grabbed Kelly by the balls and headed to the first stop on the wacky religion train (theres a train now). We hit the Pagans and "witches" hard, they were hot and thought this might be the one, the chicks were loose and ready to root us all over, it ended when they tried to chop our willys off with a ceremonial dagger and feed them to their "she God" , we pulled out quick...literally! (hehe)

I don't know what the hell this is?

The next stop was Satanism, as I was a Satanist I thought this would be a good religion for Kelly...IF he could handle it and with all the cat fisting he had done I was pretty sure he could. We had black mass were chatting to the other members when Kelly made the remark "how many Satanists does it take to change a light bulb? None there all gay!", we left at that moment with a mob of angry freaks close behind.

All Hail!

I was running out of ideas and interest when Kelly suggested Islam, hhmm I thought why not? We headed to a large penis shaped building that had the words "death to the infidels" written across the front. After several hours of listening to some guy talk (we think) we all jumped on a bus and headed for Israel we got off when they asked us to strap dynamite to our asses.

Lalallaaaaaaaaaaaa Allah...sux

I needed to get home and pleasure 8 or 9 more chicks and a donkey, so we ended that days adventure with a beer and some more "red pills".

We will be back again tomorrow and maybe even find the right religion for Kelly and who knows maybe the right religion full stop!

STAY TUNED FOR MORE EXCITING ADVENTURES FROM KELLY AND DAMO
Coming soon to a computer screen near you!

7 comments:

Chat Blanc November 6, 2008 at 12:30 PM  

cat fisting! ahahaha! :P

Kelly November 6, 2008 at 2:16 PM  

Yes, never underestimate the joys of cat fisting. It's a Christmas tradition and fun for the whole family.

I remember that time we went to the Church of Satan, Damo. Those girls drained me.

AngieSS November 7, 2008 at 6:15 AM  

"I needed to get home and pleasure 8 or 9 more chicks and a donkey"

LOL You sure that blue pill wasn't Viagra! Dayum!

Damian (666) November 7, 2008 at 1:57 PM  

Hehe yeah cat fisting.

@Angie, I pleasure that many every night! I don't need no stiffy help baby!!

~Static~ November 11, 2008 at 4:33 PM  

I think Kelly is a Pastafarian. Touch the noodly appendage!

Kelly November 12, 2008 at 5:57 AM  

WTF is a Pastafarian, Static? Is that someone who humps pasta? Do you do noodles, dude? Just what the hell is going on? Noodly appendage? Are you imagining my big ol' mighty stink log to be something edible--like a noodle? Something to be eaten? Are you a freak?

If so, I must warn you. I know chopsocky move no.7

Whatever that is. :)

~Static~ November 16, 2008 at 11:12 AM  

@Kelly - Google.. do you use it (biatch)?!

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