Be cool

Things to know part 1

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Yes we can
"If only I knew then what I know now"
I've learned a lot in my 26 years on this earth like sponges are smarter then starfish and if its wet then it isn't a fart, yes I've learned a lot.

Its about time that I shared my amazing 26 year olds wisdom with the world in an attempt to make living in it just a little bit easier because I'm super nice and awesome and stuff and...junk.

There are some things in life that you don't get told about and just have to learn yourself and there are other things that shouldn't be talked about even if it would help out because they're classed as being "taboo", well fuck that!

Heres everything you should of been told but weren't because your parents were pussy's!

Santa is not real, none of those things are real, no easter bunny no tooth fairy, no nuttun so get the fuck over it!

The "bible" is really just a load of crap, if you ever read it you would find out that it is more unbelievable then the "Harry Potter" novels, which brings me to my next point. People are gullible, you can scam anything out of them IF you are smart enough!

Don't trust anyone... EVER if you do you will be disappointed but especially don't trust priests or help a priest shove a candle up his ass if he asks, if he doesn't then its ok.

Never say yes to a favor before you know what it is, you could be shoveling shit for a week for all you know.

You can't chose your family but you can divorce them!

If life gives you lemons say "fuck the lemons" !

Never ever follow threw on a fart, just don't do it.

The final and most important lesson I've learned is that people die and there is nothing you can do about it so learn to deal because one day you and everyone you know will die so make the most of what you have now and never forget that the grass is never greener on the other side its just been fertilized with bullshit.

2 comments:

Kelly December 4, 2008 at 4:13 PM  

You could be one of those "special visitors" that the kids get in schools. You know, like a cop or fireman or something. You could teach these kids the facts of life.

That would be great and stuff.

One Hypo December 12, 2008 at 2:42 AM  

...and not everyone is sane and you can't choose your upbringing.

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