Be cool

Who needs a job?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Had an appointment today for a job I don't want a job but apparently its the thing to do these days if you want to survive but is there another way to survive and not have a job?

Do it I dare ya!

I do believe a big yes is in order for that question and I'll even tell you how it can be done!
First you need to burn everything you own and everything around you even the clothes on your back (take them off first) and then punch everyone you love and even punching some strangers might help.

The next step involves quiting your old job if you have one and for this you will need a bag of snakes any kind will do, take the bag of snakes to your boss and smack him across the face with them while screaming Jesus loves you this will be your notice and he will accept it!

Now that you have burned all your bridges and have nothing left you are ready to start your new jobless life, you need to find a nice forest where you can set up residence you will need water, food and heat you will find all this by a river or lake and the heat you will have to start a fire but you have had lots of experience doing that when you burnt everything you owned so there will be no problem there, if you are unable to start a fire then several different types of animals can be used to "snuggle" with for warmth.

Water is the easiest to get if you are living by a river then theres your water dumbass.
Food can be found in large quantities in caves and holes in trees if you can avoid those pesky KILLER animals like the blue ringed octopus and the green sea turtle and stuff?
So there we have it the easiest way to live without a job! Who would of thought it could of been that simple! Anyways all this and more can be your life if you say no to work and yes to being a freak! Mutha f**ka I just smashed my freaken funny bone its not freaken funny god damn it.

Keep an eye out for these tree dwelling creatures!


Qelqoth July 23, 2008 at 11:53 PM  

All that seems like too much work. I'd rather get paid to whack the weasel into a jar at the sperm clinic. May as well get paid for what I enjoy doing.

Besides, it's either that or getting some barely legal teenagers onto heroin and becoming their full-time pusher/pimp.

threio July 24, 2008 at 12:26 AM  

I got to agree qelqoth, however damo has a point, why don't you just move into the zoo. There is water, shelter, animals to snuggle with and plenty of kids to victimize come on a daily basis.

Damian (666) July 24, 2008 at 12:37 PM  

So your saying that its easier to survive with a job then without one? hmmm interesting

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