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Angry Clown Hate Mail

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Since I've been a guest contributor for Angry Clown, I receive a few hate mails on occasion. They usually end up berating me for making fun of everything under the sun, which includes of all things...clowns.

Never mind my vicious attacks on overweight-bearded women that smell of limburger cheese, ass-raping politicians that don't lube ya up before doing the deed, and taint-sucking telemarketers that call you repeatedly at 3 am. Okay, they're fucking clowns too, but different from any regular run-of-the-mill clown.

Glad we got that cleared up.

This is but one example that I have received about my contribution to the site (or certain aspects of it). I don't even think it warrants a response, but I guess this ass clown was determined to get SOMETHING out of me... so instead of an email reply I will instead mock him in front of an audience for the uberlulz. Personally, I think this guy is a complete whacko. I'll let you come to your own conclusions.

Dearest most-est wonderful Static:

My name is Pogo the Clown. While searching the internet for links to clowning-related pages, I was confronted with the GODDAMN Angry Clown page, and to say the least, I was extremely offended by your writings... fucko. Now WAIT--before you go off and take this as a complete complaint, I want you to know that I KNOW you have (1) the right to expression, and (2) the right, frankly, to not like clowns. But literally thousands of children DO like clowns, and search for the word "Clowns" every day.

Truth be told: it's hurting my business (which includes birthday parties, mitzvahs, and Strip-O-Grams), and and I'm running out of children, especially boys, to "entertain". While you do have the right to expression, you do not have the right to slanderize the entire clowning industry, nor any particular "clown" therein.

I might agree with you on some of the things on your page--but that picture of the clown tied up on the train tracks? I think that is an extremely poor use of judgement on your part. I would have complained about that myself much sooner if I knew.

Any way, what you are doing is EXTREMELY detrimental to the art of clowning. Thus, I would ask you to please remove all detrimental and/or destructive graphics and materials from your page. I don't think we have to elaborate on what is opinion and what is destructive--good common sense tells us both that.

I have contacted Google on the content of your page, Yahoo! about the link to your site, as well as the companies from which you have received your awards, as well as the WGN Broadcasting company concerning your graphics. Please do not take this personally; but the content of your writing and the Angry Clown web pages are more than just an opinion--it is a complete display of hatred toward the art of clowning.

If you wish to contact me, you may do so at
Thank you in advance for your understanding and cooperation.

John Wayne Gacy
Pogo Enterprises

p.s. if you are ever in the Chicago area, feel free to stop by my house. Just let yourself into the basement, grab a ghb laced beer and make yourself at home.

 Gee, that was stirring. John included this rather interesting photo of himself. This image might look quite innocent, but the person under the clown make-up and Pogo persona, is none other than John Wayne Gacy. It's true. He was not really executed. It was all faked. Don't you know by now that bureaucracy makes sharpening a pencil a monumental and expensive task? It was far cheaper and easier to let him go, and then relocate him several times.

To know that this 'man' raped and murdered at least 33 young men and was a known clown is enough to make my skin crawl. No, not every clown is a murderous, sick human. But if anybody out there is wondering where my opinions of the man come from, take a look and just try to imagine... being subjected to extreme sodomy, getting murdered, and then buried in a crawl space next to dozens of other rotting corpses, by an Angry Clown like Pogo.

So, as the master of ready wit and stunning repartee, my response to you John, (a.k.a. Pogo) is simply...
Fuck off you red-nosed buggering bastard.

For more excrement and half-witted commentary visit: Krapsody


Damian (666) November 16, 2008 at 11:17 AM  

lololololol and lol and lulz gotta love an angry murdering clown, its the bomb? anyways.

I wish I got hate mail that would make me feel special and not dribbling cripple special but the other special!

~Static~ November 16, 2008 at 12:17 PM  

That's the method of disposal by an Angry Homicidal Clown. A bomb in the colon.

I'll send ya some hate mail. So you'll feel "special", whatever kind that may be.

Kelly November 17, 2008 at 11:31 AM  

I hate ya. I hate ya. I hate ya. And I fart on the both of yas. Does that make yas feel any better.

Anyway, I'm bored. Good funny post, Static dude.

Everyone hates me but I never get any hate mail either. Guess I'm not worth the effort.

:( Me sad. Me is crying. Gosh.

~Static~ November 17, 2008 at 1:50 PM  

@Kelly - It's okay. I know you're only jealous.

Why don't you go and hang out with Mr. Gacy in his basement, have a few beers, talk about your problems, watch some porn, and see what develops.

Be sure to tell us all about it. :o]

Kelly November 17, 2008 at 2:21 PM  

Went there but he asked for you, instead. Said you had a tighter hiney hole. Get prepared for an evening of romance, Static. He has the candlelit dinner, flowers and gay porn ready for ya. When I asked, "Where's the lube?" He said, "Why Static's rectum blood will be the lube, of course."

He added, "Tell Static to put on his prettiest dress."

One Time November 17, 2008 at 2:34 PM  

For a moment there, I thought that picture of John Wayne Gacy was actually the clown from that Stephen King movie, It!

~Static~ November 19, 2008 at 8:11 AM  

@Kelly - Once again I see you are simply projecting your own desires upon me. You should realize it's okay to come out nowadays dude. You're here, you're queer and we'll get used to it. =)

@Onetime - Yes Officer Onetime...Well, I, uh.

It's true! IMO, Gacy was the model for Stephen King's malevolent, shape-shifting, child-killing monster character, Pennywise, in the book "It".

Also it cannot simply be coincidence that the book has some allusions to suppressed pedophilia, albeit homosexual and homicidal tendencies either.

Hollywood has been doing this for years successfully. Sometimes over using the technique and stereotyping homosexuals themselves as being homicidal. When in fact this isn't an accurate profile for all homosexuals. I would say that pedophiles are more likely to be homicidal, to hide their crime and their deviant behavior.

Homosexuality is more readily accepted these days, hence less suppression and resulting criminal activity.

Back to the story, as an example the main characters (all young men) create the Losers' Club as a way to show that they have low self-esteem and as friends this brings them closer together, further alienating them from the outside world. Classic example of the making of a horror story, right? Think Columbine High School massacre.

They are also being terrorized by the neighborhood bully, Henry Bowers, which only strengthens their bond. Think Columbine.

Beverly, the only female of the group, comes up with an idea that would bind them together for the possible return of It. Under the protest of her male friends, she proceeds to have sexual intercourse with each of them as a way to strengthen the bond between them. That's an indication that there is something bizarre going on here. These boys are fighting urges that don't entirely involve girls. Think Columbine.

In the town of Derry where the story occurs, there are intervening periods between each pair of events, a series of child murders occur, which are never solved. Think Gacy.

It awakes from hibernation every 27 years when a violent crime is committed, such as when three young homophobic bullies beat up a young gay couple. Think Gacy.

Therefore, it mirrors the homosexual tendencies of the boys who are drawn in by a warped character such as Pennywise (Gacy), who preys upon their perceived "weakness" and exploits it to their advantage. Buggering them, murdering and burying them under his house. Although that didn't occur in "It", might as well have, Pennywise terrorizes the main characters in subsequent encounters until they destroy It. Think Columbine and Gacy.


Damian (666) November 19, 2008 at 11:48 AM  

Wow that was like total information and I learned stuff then! Thanks Static!

~Static~ November 20, 2008 at 2:31 PM  

@Damian - Bad Damo. That was all a bunch of horseshit. You could learn more by reading the back of a cereal box. Scratch that, that was a bunch of horseshit too.

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