Pink Unicorn? That's a good enough title for me.

 What the fuck how did I get here? How the fuck are ya's?
  
So fucking much has been happening since the last time I graced these gentle pages with my overwhelming and sometimes forceful sense of reason, righteousness and kindness to all things great and blah blah blah fuck that I'm tired I've been up for 2 days and I have a pink unicorn chasing me around trying butt fuck my left ear.

I'm sooo fucking tired and scared of having my ear raped that I am going to do something I told myself Angry Clown would never do unless it was over my dead body or pink unicorn raped left ear drum.  

What a cute fucking cat!

 

 

 

So Angry Clown is moving to -

 

Your mums house cause she's fat and loves a good orgy and doesn't mind savage butt sex with power tools converted to sex toys. Yeah we are not going anywhere I was just having a go at ya and I'm way to fucking tired  to share any of my awesome, sexy and amazing life adventures just at this moment so here are some funny fucking pictures of shit i don't care about. until next time, eat a fat dick cause there's just not enough meat on a skinny one for a fat prick like you!

To far? BTW I know my spellin and engrish and punctyouinthefacuation is a bit off but just get the fuck over it, if you can't read a sentence without a fucking spelling mistake in it then that kinda makes you a bit of a major fucking retard!

I really gotta stop swearing so much!

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Fitness Tips From An Unlikely Source

^ Another Guest Post Courtesy of Static

Embrace your fatness, if someone can wrap their arms around you

"Ooh, look at me. I'm like, sooo skinny!"
You're a fat wannabe hoochie mama. Oh what, you have an 18.5 BMI?
That doesn't make you anorexic, it just means you're a spun out crack whore.

Angry Clown has some answers to everyday questions about fitness and the importance of a good diet. You can read the following Q&A for the details.

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

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Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
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Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!!
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Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !
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And remember:
Ashley Olsen isn't "the fat twin".


You can find out more about embracing your fatness by visiting:

Static Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor the Land of Arse USA	http://www.krapsody.com
funny pics & videos, humor, comedy, satire
Visit MyBlogLog and get a signature like this!

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Awkward Moments

There s nothing worse than the coveted fart and sneeze. Unless it's the wretched gas bubble in closed spaces or serene settings and just when you can't hold it any longer you try to let it squeak out not only slowly but quietly and it just rushes out causing your buttcheeks to flap together and it ends up being an earthshaking loud fart. So embarassing. Almost as embarassing as taking a crap and not having any toilet paper nor anyone one around to help you. Which is almost as embarassing as having to fart and having to piss like a race horse at the same time, that is the worst next to having to fart so you let it rip and you end up sharting which is only surpassed by having diarrhea and feeling like you have to go really bad but there is not a single bathroom or bush closeby, so you end up going in your pants. Awkward. What do you do?

Or if you're a guy and sitting in a chair at a certain angle, wearing shorts and boxers, accidentally exposing frank &/or beans. Has that ever happened to you? Awkward. What do you do?

Or what if you have a female coworker who has a beard. and it isn't a few whiffs of hair, it's like a full goatee almost like Abe Lincoln's. And you all go for lunch at a pizza resturant sitting opposite to said woman who also is quite overweight. Her pizza arrives first and she immediately attacks it like it's hand-to-hand combat. After the first attack on her meal she raises her head to talk with the rest of us who are still waiting for our food and a strand of cheese about four inches long is hanging from her chin whiskers. She doesn't notice and no one else says anything. Just how do you tell a woman there is a strand of cheese hanging off their beard? Should you say something or wait for five minutes, a near eternity in toe cringing 'don't look/must look' time for gravity to take effect? Awkward. What do you do?

What's your most awkward moment?

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That Day

What a Sunday it was jam packed full of crap of all sorts from sleeping to eating and now some random rambling. Having Sunday being Sundayish and all really got me thinking about Sunday like what is it about the day that make people lazy and fat?

I doooo believe that its gods fault and you know why but to be even more specific its because of the hellish hard work that some of us have to do during the week. Why can't we all be rich i mean we put a man on the moon for no good reason except for the fact that we could and do you know how much that cost! I could of used that money for something fun and not boring like a motorbike thats also a boat that would be cool i could ride and sail everywhere there would be no dying in a flood for me. Anyways we got a man on the moon instead and now i have to work my ass off during the week so that i can relax a little on Sunday! Its a bloody outrage I say and we should make a stand and blow up the moon death star styles!

Anyways if i ever get a job I'll be even more pissed off about Sundays and working so damn hard during the week!

Another moon, isn't she sexy!

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