Hiya Karate Tits

Christ Jebus on lollerskates.
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What does the rest of the world call this technique, hiya karate tits? This is made of God and Win. There needs to be an Olympic beer can tit smashing event. She would certainly get a gold medal, since there seems to be few competitors with massive jugs like hers.

Can you imagine if she hit you with one of those? She'd either knock you out or kill ya all kinds of dead.

I wonder if they bruise easily, like a watermelon or cantalopes do? The second thing that comes to mind is, are they actually real, is this some kind of stunt that involves prosthetic breasts? I think those knockers need to be inspected to ensure there is no trickery involved.

Busty Heart has some notoriety for her talent so far, having her own website, appearances on various shows including that clip from "America's Got Talent".

Angry Clown will have a follow up report on the identity and background of this woman, and the authenticity of her talents.

In the meantime, you can see m0ar tit smashing fun at the following links:

Static Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor the Land of Arse USA	http://www.krapsody.com
funny pics & videos, humor, comedy, satire
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An Altnet Chatbot Moment

^ Another Guest Post Courtesy of Static

me - monkeying around on the web

So the other day I'm looking for free mp3's to download, yes, I said free.. what? are the feds going to come crashing through the door or something?





 Anyway I usually go to playlist.com but I did a Google search and came across this site that is listed as having free mp3 downloads right? So I click that link - you know I want my free mp3's dammit! Heeeell yeah. Shoot.


So anyway these bastards (I won't mention their name but it rhymes with Fault Net dot com... ok it's Altnet.com it's already in the title of this post) and they want like $20/mo, you can download unlimited music files, but I don't believe in paying for singles unless I'm buying an entire cd or a box set. Screw that noise. If it ain't free I don' wants it. Don't make me come ovah there bitch... Anyway I try to leave the site and a little window pops up, even though I have pop-up blocker in firefox that 'lil bastard got through! and a representative named Dana starts trying to chat with me. Ok, she's probably a bot. Annoying. So I decided to have a little fun of my own... and here's how that played out;

Dana Says: HEY DON’T GO! In addition to receiving Free music Downloads for 7 Days, we will even give you unlimited access to our 500,000 file ringtone catalogue as well! CLICK HERE now!

Dana Says: Just type 'HI' or 'Hello' in the space below to let me know you are there.

Dana Says: Hey! CLICK HERE to receive Unlimited Ringtone Downloads when you sign up for a 7 Day FREE Trial with Altnet right now!

You: Come mi culo?

Dana Says: This amazing offer is only available through this chat and for a limited time. CLICK HERE to take advantage of this deal.

You: mas panocha?

Dana Says: Keep in mind that if you sign up right now you will have access to Unlimited Ringtone Downloads! CLICK HERE to get started!

You: no lo tiene en inglés?

Dana Says: Remember, this offer for a Free Trial with Unlimited Ringtone Downloads is available through this chat only and for a limited time. It may not be available tomorrow. CLICK HERE to take advantage of this amazing offer.

You: ja ja ja ja ja ja!!!!

Dana Says: When you subscribe to an Altnet Unlimited Music package, you can download unlimited music files, and play those files on up to 3 PCs that you own.

You: no comprendo.

Dana Says: OK, Thank you for your time. To end the CHAT simply CLICK on the "X" in upper right.

You: do you speak spanish?

Dana Says: No, sorry, I only speak English :(

You: how about Tagalog? "Suck me, lick me, pretend I'm an ice cream cone." In Tagalog that means "Hi, how are you doing today?"

Dana Says: Let’s try to stay on point. You have nothing to lose. CLICK HERE to experience Altnet for FREE with a 7 Day Trial with Unlimited Ringtone Downloads!

You: what point? Ok, how about swedish? I'd like to experience YOU for FREE with a 7 Day Trial! Bork bork bork?! Swede babes are hawt yo. They got really pert titti....

Dana Says: I am sorry, I only have limited information. For more questions or information, please call us at (800) 401 1435 or CLICK HERE to contact customer service.

You: Alright, what else can you tell me about YOU?

Dana Says: I am sorry, I only have limited information. For more questions or information, please call us at (800) 401 1435 or CLICK HERE to contact customer service.

You: Dana, don't be modest, are you hawt?

You: What are you wearing... white silky underthangs? I bet you look really sexy in that skirt and tight blouse you're wearing today..... Hello?

(long pause)

Dana Says: Hi, thanks for chatting with me today... CLICK HERE to return to Altnet.com.

Dana Says: Altnet is a subscription-based service that gives you unlimited access to hundreds of thousands of CD-quality tracks.

Dana Says: For a flat monthly rate, you can download unlimited music files, and play those files on up to 3 PCs that you own.

You: Do you like garter belts? Whips, chains, jumper cables and car batteries?

Dana Says: Unlike other music services that charge you every time you download a song, Altnet allows you to listen to as much music as you want for one low monthly fee.

You: I have a great bondage site you should visit. I'd like to tie you up and spank your ample arse with my bare hands. Me love you long time!

Dana Says: This allows you to explore all the music you want without having to pay for every single track or album.

Dana Says: Don’t wait any longer and remember when you sign up today for our 7 Day Free Trial you will receive Unlimited Ringtone Downloads! CLICK HERE to take advantage of this deal right now!

You: I don't think I can wait any longer trust me. What about butt plugs, do you own one? I bet it's HUGE.

You: I own one the size of a watermelon and I'm UTILIZING it right now!

(another long pause)

You: Did I say something wrong? Damn, I think my prostate is swelling again. Helloooo?

You: Dana, don't go! You, me, jumper cables..butt plugs... sunset....

(really long pause)

You: Hello? Awwww! :(

 

Altnet.com chatbots hard at work

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Crabs Only Itch When You're Angry

While The Angry Dolphin peeps on Slave crabs slaving away in the evil crab slave volcano, I had a wild thought and a wild moment with my clown.

So on this particular evening when I was alone and playing with my clown I suddenly heard a knock at the door. I cleaned up quickly, quicker than I ever had before and hurried to see who was there. Why it was my good friends Buffy, Willow, and their friend Riley, and their friends friends Anya, Xander and Giles!

Static: Wow! Hay guyz wutz goin on, LULZ! (wipes sticky hand on half open bath robe)

Buffy: Okay, you get Fang, I'll get Horny. I mean... Vampire-Demon tag team. Who says we can't all get along? Vamps hate demons. It's like stripes and polka-dots. Major clashing. I mean it now - first thing in the morning, we go tell Giles.

Riley: First thing. Good plan.

Static: Horny? Hooooowee! Yo so nasty girrl!

Xander: Anyways, they'll probably be too busy flirting with every other girl at the party to even notice you.

Static: Party? There's a partee man?!

Anya: So, you don't think I'm desirable enough to be flirted with? Is that it?

Static: Huh, WTF... I think ur like totally hawt! (rubs nipple) Partay partay! Hey!

Xander: I'm just not gonna win here, am I? (pauses - looks frustrated... sexually frustrated perhaps)

Xander: We've gone other nights without sex.

Static: You poor fool, if I were with her I'd have nailed her by now.

Anya: I know. Twice!

Static: I know.. RIGHT?!

Xander: Dude, I think she was talkin' to me. Who is this guy? Nice hair man. Sheesh! (rolls eyes) Anyway, Anya, there's a lot more to you and me than the sex. Well, there should be.

Static: Uhhhhh, what else should there be?

Anya: I don't understand. I'm pretty, I'm young. Why didn't you take advantage of me? Is there something wrong with your body?

Xander: There's nothing wrong with my body.

Static: Pffft! Peshaw, yeah..like omg, right! Dude man, you're so ghey.

Anya: (laughs) Well, there must be somethin' wrong with your body. I saw that wrinkled man on TV talking about erectile dysfunction and -

Xander: Whoa! Hey! All systems go, here. No function problem, okay? You want sex? Let's have sex. Right here! Hot, sweaty, big sex!

Static: Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about! I'm ready! Let's do this! Right here? Or in the kitchen... on the floor???!! (starts to take off robe)

(Everyone gasps and looks away - then a moment of complete silence)

Static: What?

Giles: (looks around at everyone) So... the two of them were working as a team?

Buffy: Everything except giving each other little pats on the behind.

Static: YEAH BABY THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT! (throws robe over Xander's head and jumps Buffy)



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